Dear Straight Talk: I grew up with my stepfather regularly knocking my mother around when he was drunk and being emotionally abusive to both her and me. She would never stand up to him or leave him and I hated both of them for participating in this sickness. In college, I joined a group dedicated to ending rape and abuse, but I find myself emotionally abusive to women who try to get close to me, especially when I drink. I am ashamed to talk to my friends about this. Please help. — Anonymous, San Francisco
Ashley, 25, Auburn, Calif.: Much of men’s anger toward women stems from anger toward their mothers — in your case, she didn’t defend herself or protect you from abuse. Definitely stop drinking. You may be genetically predisposed toward alcoholism and things could escalate out of control, especially if you black out.
To learn to respect women, you need professional counseling to break the cycle of abuse. It can feel impossible, I know. I’m getting help for co-dependency after divorcing an alcoholic who constantly degraded and talked down to me. When I finally realized I was sacrificing my life to excuse and protect his, I left him. It is absolutely not okay to treat others or let yourself be treated this way.
Justin, 26, Redding, Calif.: Examine your level of self-worth and confidence. I used to tease my girlfriend about her weight because I subconsciously wanted to 1) lower her esteem to "keep her around,” and 2) feel better ....
Read the rest of what Justin and 4 other panelists have to say -- and how ACE applies to this situation at www.StraightTalkTNT.ORG.
S T R A I G H T T A L K T N T. O R G
Editor, Lauren Forcella
916-337-7057
PO Box 1974 Sebastopol, CA 95473
laurenforcella@gmail.com
www.StraightTalkTNT.ORG
Copyright 2013, Lauren Forcella
Comments (0)