At a movie theater recently, an older man came up to the manager, someone I have talked to on a casual basis. The manager recognizes me and is always friendly when I visit their theater. He is always courteous to patrons, and is a military veteran. We have lots of veterans here in Alaska.
The older man was angry, and complaining about a $5 issue. He was using profanity profusely, and apparently was also a veteran. His voice was loud and he was politely asked if he could stop using profanity. That made him only louder, and he voiced his First Amendment rights (which actually only prevent the government from restricting his right to free speech, not a private business with rules on behavior). The manager could not break through to the older man, which was unfortunate, but always predictable.
I suspect the older man experienced a triggering event for escalation of the threat response. The threat response reduces oxygen and glucose to the brain and prepares the subject to fight or flee. This man was clearly in fight mode, but because of the penalties associated with physical violence against others, he ultimately chose to flee. He removed himself from an imaginary threat after initial response with defensive behaviors. I perceived the threat he responded to as not real (posed no physical danger to him), but the response was real.
This is our world today. Many of the threats to us do not present with the possibility of physical harm. But our reaction is the same as if it had. Until we learn to recognize what threats pose true harm potential, and hold off the body physical response and accompanying depletion of energy and oxygen, we risk reacting in a similar defensive, angry and hostile manner. With that reaction, we increase the potential for actual escalation into physical violence and damage. Fortunately, the manager was calm in his response. He had learned that response from somewhere. Of course, the presence of trained security guards may have helped in his response. Today, we do have plenty of reason to fear an escalating person.
I believe this is what happens to many people day in and day out. The perceive a threat, react and their body prepares for physical damage. No damage occurs from an external source, but the body, in preparing to heal, inflames itself with various chemicals that unused and with no place to go, cause damage to our bodies.
Why am I writing about this incident. It's a simple question I asked myself. What is the solution? One that I present, and one that I was reminded has been provided for military personnel prior to deployment, is teaching recognition of a threat, discussion about our response, and training on how to reduce our response. Recognize a threat as non physical and react by reducing or stopping the threat response from happening. It's not as easy as it sounds.
Fortunately, the older man left. But he also left a legacy of fear to those around him watching the anger and fearful of escalation, especially when you consider all of the real threats being reported in the news. Our problem is to consider how we reach this angry older man and help him deal with his threat response issue. Recognizing that it is a problem with more far reaching roots than just anger is the first step.
Are we there yet?
Comments (2)