As a trauma therapist, I would often fall into the role of trying to reduce unwanted behaviors in children to help the family, but it never worked.
The behaviors we see in response to trauma are deeply uncomfortable for adults to witness, but this is not about us and our feelings.
When caring for children with trauma, I believe our first priority is safety and trust, not behavior change.
When the child feels safer and more secure, the behavior could naturally change, but this can’t be our goal, or they will see right through us.
This is a hard truth to hear, but I believe (and it’s ok to disagree), that modifying behavior is a manipulation of sorts, and ignores the true needs of the child in front of us, which are safety, trust, respect, and compassion.
Today, I share a reminder that I need for myself at times.
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