I often mention in my blog posts how we had to disconnect from our body when we were children in order to survive the abuse we endured. This is how our nervous system protected us. It knew the abuse was too much for our tender young mind, spirit, and soul to handle.
However, when you grow up, this coping skill turns toxic and works against you. To fix that, you must learn how to reconnect with your body. Why? Because you can’t connect with others in a meaningful way until you connect with your body. You might think when you become an adult your body will reconnect automatically. But it can’t. It still doesn’t feel safe.
So we sabotage our relationships. We crave connection with other people and pull them to us. But when they get too close, we freak and push them away. We use lots of excuses to justify our toxic behavior. We say we can’t meet the right people. Or no one cares about us. Or no one has anything in common with us. Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, we don’t push the abusive people away. Instead, we let them get too close. We end up doing all the giving in those toxic relationships. The abuser just takes and takes and takes and then abandons us in a heartless manner. Is it any wonder your body never feels safe?
To build healthy, positive relationships, you must learn how to reconnect with your body. It’s the only way your body will ever feel safe. You can start by not giving so much to others. Develop the habit of giving the same amount of time, love, care, and compassion to yourself. Be as good to yourself as you are to others.
When you do, an incredible thing happens. Only emotionally healthy relationships will flow into your life. In fact, I’m still in awe of this. I no longer attract abusers. Now I only attract joyous, nurturing people, who value me as much as I value myself. Wow, right?
As you connect with your body in a loving way, it will finally feel safe, and you’ll become a “connection magnet.” Then watch how God brings the most incredible people and relationships into your life. I guarantee you’ll be as awestruck as I am!
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