By Zoë Grünewald, Photo: Imagno/Getty Images, The New Statesman, April 25, 2022
At 19, I opted to spend a year studying abroad in Ontario, Canada. As an independent, outgoing teenager, moving to a different country seemed just the sort of adventure I should be having. But my problems began as soon as I stepped off the plane at Toronto airport; I was gripped by an intense feeling of anxiety.
For two miserable weeks I felt sick and restless and pined for home. I took frantic calls from family and friends who urged me to stay, telling me I was experiencing a very normal bout of homesickness. I cried until I was sick, ignoring the worried messages that were pouring in.
I returned home 14 days after I arrived, humiliated and emotionally drained, and continued my studies in England. I can still feel the shame of it: I felt I had embarrassed myself, let my family and friends down, and burned through money I didn’t have. When people ask what happened, I don’t know what to tell them. I didn’t enjoy the university, I missed my friends, I was homesick. I was certain that I couldn’t stay.
Comments (0)