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Can We Put an End to America’s Most Dangerous Myth? [nytimes.com]

 

By Alissa Quart, Illustration: Paola Saliby, The New York Times, March9, 2023

From a child's earliest age, independence is extolled as a virtue, with “doing things on your own” as proof of maturity. I celebrated my daughter when she was little for picking out her books herself. She always wanted to go on the monkey bars without help and swung and did tricks until her hands were blistered. Now that she’s 12, I cheer her for taking herself home from school on the train and for climbing by herself at a gym for hours.

So, yes, some independence is worth honoring. But other strains are not as positive. For instance, being required to be “independent” when we are ill and without adequate health insurance coverage is not to be recommended. Neither is having to take care of our children entirely on our own, in the silo of our immediate family, without a state-supported nursery in sight. And going into debt for simply covering the cost of our own or our children’s college education is far from salutary.

But because Americans are taught that we must go it alone, we often force ourselves to slog through these — and other crucial human experiences — in solitude. And when we do get assistance, we may feel we must play down the help we receive from our government, our families or our neighbors.

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  When I moved to northern New England, I went back for a 'visit' and stopped by my old Toastmasters Club, and one member asked me how I liked those 'Rugged Self-reliant Yankee Individualists' up there. My reply: "Ain't seen one yet put up a 'bahn' [barn] all by his-self. Besides, the Naybahs [neighbors] with Pie Recipes wouldn't appreciate a missed opportunity to 'Shay--ah' [share] them."

    Yesterday, we had municipal elections here in New Hampshire. In spite of the 'Nor-Easter' Snowstorm, voter turnout was substantial-where 'Home Rule' is so prevalent that Towns have 'Moderators' to maintain civility and decorum during public meetings.

     1988 U.S. Congressional Resolution #331 noted the Iroquois constitution's role in the development of our U.S. constitution. The Iroquois constitution's provision for "Generational Review" may have served to prevent an erosion of rights and 'trans-generational' incivility... Iroquois Women reportedly had the Rights to: Assert, Debate, VOTE, and Declare War-beginning in 1150 A.D.; the Iroquois seemed to understand 'it takes a whole village to raise a child'...

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