Fragments of Lost Dreams

Christine Cissy White (AC Staff) posted:

Rebekah:
How does it feel to go through all this old writing with what you know now? 

Thank you for sharing. I can hear the loving and curious daughter and the part about you wanting to get a new photo album but not sure if it would be loved or hated was so moving. And how, in a sense, it's the pictures that helped you be close to your mom. And her own loss and pain and the impact, on generations and not having your grandmother. Or knowing her birthday or maiden name. Powerful and sad. Thank you for sharing. cis

Bitter-sweet ;-)

Hmm, did i not reflect enough resentment? LOL  seriously, it's ironic you should pick up on the desire for closeness, I forgot that once upon a time, I still had hope for that. Once I became a mother myself, my emotions began to "short-circuit" because I couldn't comprehend how she could be so hateful when I was head-over-heels for my kids. 

In any event, finally starting to get the fever to write again. 2018 has proven to be a healing year so far, even with the bumps in the road.

Rebekah:
How does it feel to go through all this old writing with what you know now? 

Thank you for sharing. I can hear the loving and curious daughter and the part about you wanting to get a new photo album but not sure if it would be loved or hated was so moving. And how, in a sense, it's the pictures that helped you be close to your mom. And her own loss and pain and the impact, on generations and not having your grandmother. Or knowing her birthday or maiden name. Powerful and sad. Thank you for sharing. cis

Just wow.