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Helping, Fixing, or Serving? (lionsroar.com)

 

Helping, fixing and serving represent three different ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak. When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. Fixing and helping may be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul.

Service rests on the premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Serving is different from helping. Helping is not a relationship between equals. A helper may see others as weaker than they are, needier than they are, and people often feel this inequality. The danger in helping is that we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity or even wholeness.

To read more of   Rachel Naomi Remen's  article, visit:  
https://www.lionsroar.com/helping-fixing-or-serving/

 

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Thank you, Ruth. Yes, when I read this article I was filled with a sense of humility. Most of the time when we help people we do it from a position of superiority. Serving is what Jesus taught us when he washed the feet of his disciples. Serving is like sharing a part of ourselves while receiving something akin to grace. Being in total communion with each other. Love & Hugs to you too.

oh man! Thank you so much for this.  "serving is different than helping". I must remember this. At times, I was so eager to help that I think I may be guilty of inadvertently taking away from people more than I could ever give them. Since my court hearing aired on local TV, some victims/survivors reached out to me by social media. I'm an outsider and I don't know how I can help them specifically but to them, because I've been there, done that, they see me as the one they need to reach out to for help. I did the same thing when I was in their shoes and just having a survivor with me, calmed me so.... I DO I get it, but I need to remember that I don't have to have all the answers. I think its best to just follow THEIR lead and not take a lead role in it at all. Now that I'm on the other side of the fence doesn't mean I know everything BUT I can be there....just showing up is the answer sometimes. Thank you Cheryl. hugs!!!

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