Home For The Holidays

@Robert Olcott posted:

After witnessing my Mother's [aided and abetted-by my then Deputy Sheriff father] handgun Suicide as a teen-ager (father's pistol in one hand; King James version of the Holy Bible in her other hand), I was not aware their were more than four stages of Grief, until recently. Maxine Harris, Ph.D.'s book on the loss that lasts forever (when a child's parent[s] dies during their 'childhood') was helpful, but recent news from a professional colleague/long-time friend - that another colleague had published a paper addressing SIX stages/phases of grief. ...

Somebody commented via social media that: “Christianity started moving away from the teachings of Jesus the moment he died.”

I feel that fairly accurately describes it, unfortunately. Institutional Christianity/Christians [i.e. those most resistant to Christ’s fundamental teachings of non-violence, compassion and non-wealth] seem to insist upon creating their Creator’s nature in their own fallible and often angry, vengeful image; for example, proclaiming at publicized protests that 'God hates' such-and-such group of people.

Often being the most vocal, they make very bad examples of Christ’s fundamental message, especially to the young and impressionable. This is why I openly critique those in public life who claim to be Christian yet behave nothing like Christ nor his basic teachings.

Many institutional 'Christians' may find inconvenient, if not plainly annoying, trying to reconcile the conspicuous inconsistency in the fundamental nature of the New Testament’s Jesus with the wrathful, vengeful and even jealous nature of the Old Testament's Creator.

Ironically, some of the best humanitarians were/are atheists or agnostics who’d make better examples of many of Christ’s teachings than too many institutional Christians (i.e. those most resistant to Christ’s fundamental teachings of non-violence, compassion and non-wealth); and, conversely, some of the worst human(e) beings are the most devout preachers/practitioners of institutional Christian theology.

@Robert Olcott posted:

When 'Institutional Betrayal' compounds the trauma[s] and 'ACEs' we've experienced, it can compound the 'Anniversary Date Reactions' we also may 'see' -view a 'fore-shortened sense of the future' as we age. I too, noticed myself feeling 'a bit more challenged this year's 'Holiday Season'. i hope 'comfort' finds you, Michael, and fellow PACEsConnections.

Thank you Robert.

@Robert Olcott posted:

After witnessing my Mother's [aided and abetted-by my then Deputy Sheriff father] handgun Suicide as a teen-ager (father's pistol in one hand; King James version of the Holy Bible in her other hand), I was not aware their were more than four stages of Grief, until recently. Maxine Harris, Ph.D.'s book on the loss that lasts forever (when a child's parent[s] dies during their 'childhood') was helpful, but recent news from a professional colleague/long-time friend - that another colleague had published a paper addressing SIX stages/phases of grief. ...

Dear Robert....this is so sad for a child to witness....I am so sorry.

Take care, Michael

@Frank Sterle Jr. posted:

Michael: In the Life category, you have had it most brutal; my heart goes out to you. Though the high-scoring ACE-stuff I've 'survived' didn't involve overt sexual abuse, I've received pretty much every other category, hard over the head.

Granted, there was my Grade 2 teacher [in the early 1970s]: Although I cannot recall her school-year abuse in its entirety, I do remember most vividly she having the immoral audacity — and especially the unethical confidence in successfully avoiding any professional repercussions — to blatantly readily aim and fire her knee towards my groin, as I was backed up against the school hall wall. Luckily, she missed her mark, instead hitting the top of my left leg.

But rather than tell anyone about my ordeal with her and consciously feel victimized, I instead felt some misplaced shame: I was a ‘difficult’ boy, therefore she likely perceived me as somehow ‘deserving it’.

Thanks for sharing the powerful yet succinct post [succinct writing unfortunately not being a talent I share].

Thank you Frank for the support...and I am so sorry what you have experienced.

Take care, Michael

After witnessing my Mother's [aided and abetted-by my then Deputy Sheriff father] handgun Suicide as a teen-ager (father's pistol in one hand; King James version of the Holy Bible in her other hand), I was not aware their were more than four stages of Grief, until recently. Maxine Harris, Ph.D.'s book on the loss that lasts forever (when a child's parent[s] dies during their 'childhood') was helpful, but recent news from a professional colleague/long-time friend - that another colleague had published a paper addressing SIX stages/phases of grief. ...

When 'Institutional Betrayal' compounds the trauma[s] and 'ACEs' we've experienced, it can compound the 'Anniversary Date Reactions' we also may 'see' -view a 'fore-shortened sense of the future' as we age. I too, noticed myself feeling 'a bit more challenged this year's 'Holiday Season'. i hope 'comfort' finds you, Michael, and fellow PACEsConnections.

Michael: In the Life category, you have had it most brutal; my heart goes out to you. Though the high-scoring ACE-stuff I've 'survived' didn't involve overt sexual abuse, I've received pretty much every other category, hard over the head.

Granted, there was my Grade 2 teacher [in the early 1970s]: Although I cannot recall her school-year abuse in its entirety, I do remember most vividly she having the immoral audacity — and especially the unethical confidence in successfully avoiding any professional repercussions — to blatantly readily aim and fire her knee towards my groin, as I was backed up against the school hall wall. Luckily, she missed her mark, instead hitting the top of my left leg.

But rather than tell anyone about my ordeal with her and consciously feel victimized, I instead felt some misplaced shame: I was a ‘difficult’ boy, therefore she likely perceived me as somehow ‘deserving it’.

Thanks for sharing the powerful yet succinct post [succinct writing unfortunately not being a talent I share].