How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You as an Adult [psychologytoday.com]

Laura Pinhey posted:

Tina Cain posted:

Laura, 

Do you really think it’s your ACE Score or that you didn’t have a mother? 

For me, it’s not the ACE Score... that came later and it came because I didn’t have a mother who could see me or know me or protect me because she was absorbed in her own stuff. 

Peace.  

Geepers, Tina, the article isn't about me or my history . And I didn't write it--I shared it. If you disagree with the content, take it up with the author, or better yet, write a post here refuting the article and about what you believe is at the root of the sorts of troubles we in these parts generally attribute to ACEs. If you're implying that it's not the ACEs, it's the attachment, then I'll say that the more I learn about attachment, the more I think it's the true perpetrator, or at the very least an accomplice. But I'd like to learn more.

I know you didn’t write it . Yes I was referring to the attachment..... I agree with you totally  

Tina Cain posted:

Laura, 

Do you really think it’s your ACE Score or that you didn’t have a mother? 

For me, it’s not the ACE Score... that came later and it came because I didn’t have a mother who could see me or know me or protect me because she was absorbed in her own stuff. 

Peace.  

I am sorry to hear of your mother’s self-absorption and neglect. That is a terrible to have to live with. 

Tina Cain posted:

Laura, 

Do you really think it’s your ACE Score or that you didn’t have a mother? 

For me, it’s not the ACE Score... that came later and it came because I didn’t have a mother who could see me or know me or protect me because she was absorbed in her own stuff. 

Peace.  

Geepers, Tina, the article isn't about me or my history . And I didn't write it--I shared it. If you disagree with the content, take it up with the author, or better yet, write a post here refuting the article and about what you believe is at the root of the sorts of troubles we in these parts generally attribute to ACEs. If you're implying that it's not the ACEs, it's the attachment, then I'll say that the more I learn about attachment, the more I think it's the true perpetrator, or at the very least an accomplice. But I'd like to learn more.

“When dealing with an addiction, for example, it is best to break through the addict’s denial, to define what sobriety looks like, and to develop coping skills the addict can turn to when triggered (by stress, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, depression, and other forms of emotional discomfort).”

I wouldn’t call myself #TraumaInformed and call people impacted by trauma “the addict.”   The language used here is so dehumanizing.  This is not how I ever look at people who are struggling trying to regulate emotions they never learned to regulate in childhood.  

Why does someone use drugs or alcohol or any addiction like eating, sex, shopping etc? Because they can’t handle overwhelming emotions. Why can’t kids who experienced trauma handle emotions?  Because there was no parent there to help the child learn how to handle emotions.  

These human beings (the “addicts”) need validation and doses of trust in humanity, not invalidation and disdain or disgust,  especially from some dude trying to advertise his business who doesn’t seem to have empathy. 

Sorry... I know I’m a little annoyed ... Just read the article in its entirety and it totally depresses me how many so-called trauma Informed people have no clue how painful what they are saying is and how almost glib and absolutely clueless these people are about the grief & despair that comes along with serious childhood trauma. 

(Still working on Affect Control) 

Laura, 

Do you really think it’s your ACE Score or that you didn’t have a mother? 

For me, it’s not the ACE Score... that came later and it came because I didn’t have a mother who could see me or know me or protect me because she was absorbed in her own stuff. 

Peace.