I Couldn't Accept I Was Struggling With Trauma Because I Didn't Know What It Was (www.themighty.com) & Commentary

Christine Cissy White 3/20/177:42 AM

Another great share I saw posted over at The Trauma Project today. It's easy to forget that before we become informed and educated about ACEs as trauma, many of us have had no idea that we called childhood was traumatic. It's another reason clinical language can sometimes be distancing. We might know our lives were a little rough, chaotic or whatever, but it's often a shock to learn that life, including life filled with ACEs, has been traumatic or that we might be struggling with traumatic stress. Here's an excerpt of this great article. Link to full version is here.

I don’t have trauma.

What happened to me isn’t trauma.

I should have been able to cope with it.

It’s not sad.

I’m not upset.

Accepting I was struggling with trauma was by far one of the most difficult aspects of recovery for me. I thought admitting I was struggling with trauma suggested I couldn’t cope with the events in my life or didn’t have the strength to deal with and process those events. I thought (and sometimes in my dark moments still think) struggling with the effects of trauma made me weak, broken and a failure. I have met many other people who share this same sentiment. We are stuck in a cycle of denial that keeps us prisoner in a cage of negative behavior patterns and harmful symptoms.

Admitting you are struggling is not only

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Christine Cissy WhiteIt's not trauma-informed unless it's informed by trauma survivors.

Svava Brooks posted:
I can relate.
I was in denial for a long time. I knew I had been abused but it was not until I heard Dr. Felitti speak about the ACE' study in 2006 that it really hit home. After taking time to accept the facts I got really serious about my health and wellness.
It is never too late to start our healing journey. It has been hard but it has been worth it and now I get to pay it forward and help others.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I believe in you.

HI Svava:

Wasn't that a great article the author wrote? I too prioritized my health and self-care and parenting QUITE A BIT, and even my professional and personal activism after learning about the ACE study. It's so helpful and important and for me, far less hard than healing was before without that wider context of understanding.

Thanks for all of the great work you do. Cis

3/21/175:53 AM

Christine Cissy WhiteIt's not trauma-informed unless it's informed by trauma survivors.

Oh YES. This is so true. We personalize these symptoms in a way we'd never personalize cold or flu symptoms, in part, because we rarely hear if or how others suffer and if and how suffering is relieved.

Gail Kennedy posted:

"I thought (and sometimes in my dark moments still think) struggling with the effects of trauma made me weak, broken and a failure. I have met many other people who share this same sentiment. We are stuck in a cycle of denial that keeps us prisoner in a cage of negative behavior patterns and harmful symptoms."

Where did this idea come from that professionals aren't also people or that being people with issues is in and of itself unprofessional? I am not talking blurring boundaries but forgetting that for a whole bunch of people knowing someone relates, understands and gets it on some level makes them seem more credible not less, more real, believable and trustworthy.

I love your concept of community and that it is all o.k. and we are all o.k., as is. It's not easy to feel that way. I know being open and real while being professional, looks different depending on jobs and roles and personal style and safety and comfort. I'm glad we have a space that lets us explore, express or at least consider things differently when it comes to understanding the role trauma has on us individually and on family and community and society. Cis

3/21/175:51 AM

Gail KennedyMember

I thought (and sometimes in my dark moments still think) struggling with the effects of trauma made me weak, broken and a failure. I have met many other people who share this same sentiment. We are stuck in a cycle of denial that keeps us prisoner in a cage of negative behavior patterns and harmful symptoms.

When I read this article, i think about we as professionals with our ACEs... we REALLY have a hard time admiting that we struggle with the effects of trauma because we are supposed to be the PROFESSIONALS! But that is who we are and it seems it makes us much more effective/ supportive/ responsive/ accessible as an advocate/ support for those that we are working with. But we feel we have to have our you-know-what together when in fact, all of us that have ACEs struggles and we also are survivors, warriors. To me, creating environments (work, friends, family) that makes it OK to be who we are, bring where we are at on any given day and recognize that sometimes we struggle, sometimes we are strong, sometime we are powerful, sometimes we are a mess and it is all OK - we need to support each other to give back and make the important changes we need to make.

3/20/178:28 PM

Svava BrooksMember

I can relate.

I was in denial for a long time. I knew I had been abused but it was not until I heard Dr. Felitti speak about the ACE' study in 2006 that it really hit home. After taking time to accept the facts I got really serious about my health and wellness.

It is never too late to start our healing journey. It has been hard but it has been worth it and now I get to pay it forward and help others.

Thank you for sharing your journey. I believe in you.

3/20/178:18 PM

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