As we scroll through the latest apologies in our news feeds (I’m sorry if anyone was offended; it was the culture back then; I’m mostly sorry but not for THAT one), it’s easy to see what apologies are not. But I’ve been thinking a lot about what apologies are, and why we make them.
A few months ago, I flew from New York to Wisconsin to say I’m sorry to my ex-wife. We had been together for 14 years when she was told she had breast cancer in 2006. I was beside her through her surgery and chemo appointments, but I was terrified. At the end of her chemo, when she was still very sick, I ran. I began a torrid affair with my therapist, whom I eventually married.
My ex-wife healed from the cancer, and went on to marry again and have two children, but my violation was a big one. I’d said I was sorry before, but the words didn’t reach the bottom of an experience as deep as abandonment.
[For more on this story by Cris Beam, go to https://www.nytimes.com/2018/0...izing-apologies.html]
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