Self-care is the stuff you should do to ensure you're healthy, happy, and strong. But for me, it became for me a chore. It was one more thing on the endless list of "to do's" I had to get done before falling exhausted into bed for a fitful night's sleep. As a caregiver, my responsibilities kept me busy every available moment. The only alone time I found was in the bathroom, door locked until someone needed me and realized that's where I went (usually within 5 minutes). Professionally I taught people how to plan and execute self-care. I memorized the research on why self-care was important not just for me, but for everyone around me. However, the guilt and stress of not being successful in engaging in self-care for myself was miserable. I really let myself have it. I criticized myself which created an environment in my head and heart of even more stress.
Then one day I had a revelation. What if self-care is not an act separate from our everyday. What if self-care is what we do every moment. What if it is what we choose. What if it is how we talk to ourselves. I realized self-care begins in the grace we offer ourselves. It is knowing the secret in finding joy in every moment is to look outside of your current perceived circumstance. I learned self-care wasn't work. It was just the opposite. It was about letting go and letting joy. For so long I tried to control every detail of my life, including my self-care. But the best care was letting go, forgiving myself, laughing at the messy, eating the last cookie, and breathing from my toes to the top of my head. When I let go and let joy fill me I effortlessly become the safe place, the light, the place of rest for everyone including myself.
Comments (1)