Thanks to #MeToo there is now less stigma and a great deal of empowerment surrounding those who choose to come out about sexual harassment and assault. As there was a veritable tsunami of people posting the hashtag, victims were released from becoming the focus of attention or being pressed by friends and family for details that the victim is not yet ready to give, or can find retraumatizing. It was enough to post those simple words and stand, freed from shame and blame, in solidarity with all those who had finally found their voice.
Not so for childhood sexual abuse. I find that I can talk about my encounter with Harvey Weinstein but when I mention childhood sexual abuse (CSA), I look around to see who is listening and lower my voice. I still haven't told my mother about my own history. Why does CSA carry more shame and stigma? It doesn’t make sense. Sadly, as we have seen from Weinstein’s attempts to shift blame, there is always the question of consent that can be used to muddy the waters in cases of adult sexual assault, but not so for children. The median age for reported CSA is nine years old – well below the age of consent.
I think the reason why survivors carry this extra burden of shame is that we get caught up in the revulsion that surrounds CSA. People don't want to talk about it or turn from it, which means they also turn from us. And yet we know 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys (and that's just those who report) have experienced CSA. It festers in the silence and gets passed down generations, eating the heart out of families and destroying lives. It also sets us up to become trauma victims in later life - I simply dissociated with Harvey because that's how I had protected myself as a child.
I want to start a campaign similar to #MeToo - #MeTooChild - that will allow the victims of CSA, and any Adverse Childhood Experiences, the freedom and dignity to stand up and throw off the silence that - let's be clear here - only protects the perpetrators, and shout from the rooftops, “Me too! I am that child.” I believe this would stop the generational trauma that we see in our work at Echo. I believe that this would be a significant step in my own healing and provide healing and empowerment for millions.
Will you join me?
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