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Missed Opportunities: Pathways from Foster Care to Youth Homelessness in America [voicesofyouthcount.org]

 

By Voices of Youth Count.

Voices of Youth: Alanna’s Story

Alanna is a 23-year-old woman living in Philadelphia.1 She was placed in foster care at the age of three, along with three siblings, because her mother was using drugs. Alanna and her siblings spent 7 years in foster care. They were initially placed together in a foster home that Alanna described as abusive. According to Alanna, the child welfare agency “did nothing” the first time Alanna reported the abuse. After she reported the abuse a second time, she and her siblings were removed from the foster home and split up. Alanna and a sister were placed with foster parents who were “really nice.” Alanna attended the same school during most of her time in foster care, and she was considered a gifted student.

At age 10, Alanna was reunited with her parents and siblings. However, her mother, who has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, was physically abusive. Her father worked multiple jobs and was often not present. The child welfare agency did not check on Alanna and her siblings to make sure they were safe, nor was her family offered post-reunification services.

Despite feeling unsafe at home, Alanna was class president, on the track team, in the debate club, and interned at the school district. She decided to leave home at age 16 because her mother put her “on punishment” for a month for no apparent reason. After leaving home, she stayed with a sister who lived in transitional housing and then with an uncle whose home was in foreclosure. Like many young people, she experienced literal homelessness and couch surfed with a friend.

Alanna continued to attend high school and do “the stuff that I liked to do” despite not having stable housing. Her internship introduced her to a program that provided youth experiencing homelessnesswith basic resources like food, clothing, and assistance with job preparation and college applications. With the program’s help, Alanna successfully applied to and attended Penn State University. However, she experienced housing instability during holidays and summer break when she had to return to Philadelphia. Even after earning her bachelor’s degree, Alanna struggled financially and was unable to afford a place of her own.

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A powerful article.  

The imprinting of any given milieu, and the resultant (missing) skill set, and the unconscious expectation for "how life is"-- all set down in early life--  is so, so powerful!   And it repeats itself, as the human being stays inside that same 'system,' or biosphere, or way of thinking.  Abuse trains a person to do self-hating or self-abusive things, or adopt self-critical attitudes, or shun ones self.

Part of what I see in foster youth is that the rejection or loss of parents makes for a sense of being radically different/ 'broken' -- and their poor choices basically *affirm* this "I'm broken" or "I don't fit in" mindset that feels like objective reality.  That's what gets baked in.

The only way for a youth to heal is to connect on the deeper level with another person, and realize *through experiencing being loved*, how self-love might actually feel, and operate.  How self-acceptance and deferred gratification might feel and operate.  Modeling through experiences is what is needed to learn these skills.  You do not learn them cognitively but experientially.

The lack of modeling of sober, wholesome behaviors, adaptive skills, connectivity, etc is a ROBBERY of necessary learning for the abused or neglected child.  Worse, it implants maladaptive learning.

The way to prevent ACEs is support for the very young and support for abused 20 somethings now having kids.  We need to intervene as a society at the very beginning of the life cycle and bring adaptive experiences to both new parents and babies.  A la nurse family partnership.  

We need an intergenerational transmission of wellness.

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