Mothers of Drug Addicted Babies

It's disappointing to see such a post with loaded language pathologizing the experience of women with addictions. I would hope that someone that is ACEs affiliated would be aware that babies are never born "addicted". "Addiction" requires a host of symptoms in addition to a physiological dependence (tolerance or withdrawal) on a drug. Babies exposed to certain substances in utero may have a physiological dependence causing them to be born with Neonatal Abstinence Syndroms (NAS), for which we have interventions. Use of this language fuels the myths that began in the '80s with the "crack-baby epidemic". Furthermore, this issue has nothing to do with a pregnant mother having any particular "right" - it's a matter of a struggle with a legitimate health condition. Only in addictive illnesses do we see such blame towards those that suffer.  Threatening arrest of such mothers has been documented to increase disengagement from prenatal and postnatal care, and has had no impact on engagement in recovery services, thus contributing to poorer child and family outcomes in the long-run. In fact, evidence suggests that for some substances continued use through medication assisted therapies (MAT) is connected to the best outcomes. To be clear - trauma, substance use, and sexual behavior are a complicated maze. I'm happy to hear you are attempting to bring attention to these issues, but let's make sure we're including an informed perspective. Check out SAMHSA.Gov or better yet - join me at the NC NASW Conference next weekend! 

The Safe Babies Courts system is being used in several states. It takes a wrap-around approach to families who have been reported to child welfare, because of ACEs that manifest themselves as alcohol and other drug addiction, domestic violence, etc. Ninety-nine percent of kids in Safe Babies Courts suffer no further abuse. It is a testimony to how ACEs-science-informed approaches that integrate trauma-informed and resilience-building practices can help people change their lives. The courts also speed the process of providing a secure and safe home for babies by determining whether parents are capable of making the changes they need to make for themselves and their child(ren) within three or four months; if the parents aren't, then a permanent home is found. Most parents respond to offers of help when it's offered in a nurturing environment that recognizes the parents' ACEs also. Here's the article: https://acestoohigh.com/2015/0...-safe-babies-courts/

NACoA (National Assoc. for Children of Addiction) has an excellent, evidence-based program, Celebrating Families!, that helps families recover and develop healthy living skills; parents learn basic parenting skills; and children understand addiction. There's a specific component for families with young children (ages birth through three).  It's worth checking out!  www.celebratingfamilies.net

Melanie Blow posted:

If information alone solved complex behavioral problems the internet would have ushered in a golden age. I think we can all agree that it didn't. 

I understand the desire for justice on behalf of a drug-addicted baby, or any other baby damaged in utero. But the act of removing that baby from their mother, even if the mother absolutely cannot care for the baby, causes further damage, and we cannot gloss over that. Nor can we hastily conclude that removal is the best option. And the mother, even if she is not capable of forming a healthy bond with the baby, is likely to experience the removal as a loss and is likely to cope with the loss through her entrenched, unhealthy coping mechanisms which will include drugs, sex and unhealthy relationships.  This creates the possibility of another drug exposed baby in the foreseeable future.

Meanwhile, no group of drug addicts are more likely to achieve long term sobriety than new mothers. Their odds aren't great, but they're better than anyone else's. Foster care has atrocious outcomes, and while we can nibble around the edges of making it kinder and gentler, it's inherently tough for kids. And relative care-giving, while statistically better, still runs the risk of putting kids into the homes that traumatized the child's parents to the point that parent cannot care for the child, or putting the child into a home of someone else who suffered the same trauma but is coping with it differently (not necessarily better!)

I believe two states have passed mandatory arrest laws for mothers giving birth to drug exposed babies. The result is mothers avoiding prenatal care and other services that could help them and their babies long-term. This is not the desired outcome.

Relationships heal us. Maternal home visiting programs provide not just information, but healthy relationships for years for at-risk parents. They have been proven to reduce parental drug use, CPS involvement and foster care. And they are available to less than ten percent of eligible parents nationwide. As we discuss how to fix this problem, let's start there. 

 

 

 

Hi Melanie:

Thank you for taking the time to share your comments.  There are so many moving parts in people's lives that affect the choices they make. When those choices carry over to their children it's even more magnified. I hope our film License to Parent helps create a conversation that will make a difference.

Cissy White (ACEs Connection Staff) posted:

George:

Ouch.

Using ACEs to better understand the causes for and need of drugs to self soothe and regulate and manage has been profound for me.

It has helped me understand my own father who was violent to my mom and me when I was young. It has helped me understand my overwhelmed mother as well. It has improved my parenting by helping show me how advantaged, buffered and well those without ACEs and inequity often are.

Both my parents had high ACEs, and ACEs are often generational. Shaming and being punitive, in systems and in general, has been the traditional approach in lots of systems run by people who often don’t have or acknowledge ACEs on the personal front. I believe that work is imperative and ultimately hopeful for it changes the conversations we have, who leads them and the policies we create and reform,  and the way that work is done by breaking down us/ them and the good people vs bad people myths that often ignore history, circumstances and inequities and disproportionately gave negative impact on those already most marginalized.

Shaming parents and punishing parents is not protecting kids. Interventions can. But Being in care, having parents in prison is not what is best for kids.

The criminal justice system traumatizes. The child welfare system is traumatic. Parents and families need support, help, and what those without ACEs got and gave. Resources. Relationships.

Unconditional Regard. We want whole families to heal. We need those things in ourselves and with each other as we heal. It’s really hard and messy and slow but for me, it’s where solutions can come rather than changing the types of loss and trauma kids and family go through. What if we started with community and healing? 

Those of us who have adopted or fostered know our kids are always and forever connected to their birth families and first families. Forever. As adoptive families - so are we. We often forget that when it comes to birth families though. How deep and primal connections are and how generational patterns are.

I believe so many are well intended but often ignore how often the “help” hurts and is often responsible for traumatizing and retraumarizing kids and families. To me, systems need to change in order to better support families. 

Cissy

Hi Cissy:

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your comments. Our film License to Parent is all about support and education for Parents. We hope everyone will watch and contribute to coming up with solutions to help.

I very much disagree that mothers should be arrested right then and there. Because Cathy is an excellent foster parent, does not mean there are more, or enough of foster parents like her. Foster care doesn't work. Anyone who's worked within that system sees that. Let's provide services to the mother AND the child. Learning how to care for a newborn is a totally, spiritually transformational process. Helping mothers to connect with this can be truly healing for all involved.

Kelly

If information alone solved complex behavioral problems the internet would have ushered in a golden age. I think we can all agree that it didn't. 

I understand the desire for justice on behalf of a drug-addicted baby, or any other baby damaged in utero. But the act of removing that baby from their mother, even if the mother absolutely cannot care for the baby, causes further damage, and we cannot gloss over that. Nor can we hastily conclude that removal is the best option. And the mother, even if she is not capable of forming a healthy bond with the baby, is likely to experience the removal as a loss and is likely to cope with the loss through her entrenched, unhealthy coping mechanisms which will include drugs, sex and unhealthy relationships.  This creates the possibility of another drug exposed baby in the foreseeable future.

Meanwhile, no group of drug addicts are more likely to achieve long term sobriety than new mothers. Their odds aren't great, but they're better than anyone else's. Foster care has atrocious outcomes, and while we can nibble around the edges of making it kinder and gentler, it's inherently tough for kids. And relative care-giving, while statistically better, still runs the risk of putting kids into the homes that traumatized the child's parents to the point that parent cannot care for the child, or putting the child into a home of someone else who suffered the same trauma but is coping with it differently (not necessarily better!)

I believe two states have passed mandatory arrest laws for mothers giving birth to drug exposed babies. The result is mothers avoiding prenatal care and other services that could help them and their babies long-term. This is not the desired outcome.

Relationships heal us. Maternal home visiting programs provide not just information, but healthy relationships for years for at-risk parents. They have been proven to reduce parental drug use, CPS involvement and foster care. And they are available to less than ten percent of eligible parents nationwide. As we discuss how to fix this problem, let's start there. 

George:

Ouch.

Using ACEs to better understand the causes for and need of drugs to self soothe and regulate and manage has been profound for me.

It has helped me understand my own father who was violent to my mom and me when I was young. It has helped me understand my overwhelmed mother as well. It has improved my parenting by helping show me how advantaged, buffered and well those without ACEs and inequity often are.

Both my parents had high ACEs, and ACEs are often generational. Shaming and being punitive, in systems and in general, has been the traditional approach in lots of systems run by people who often don’t have or acknowledge ACEs on the personal front. I believe that work is imperative and ultimately hopeful for it changes the conversations we have, who leads them and the policies we create and reform,  and the way that work is done by breaking down us/ them and the good people vs bad people myths that often ignore history, circumstances and inequities and disproportionately gave negative impact on those already most marginalized.

Shaming parents and punishing parents is not protecting kids. Interventions can. But Being in care, having parents in prison is not what is best for kids.

The criminal justice system traumatizes. The child welfare system is traumatic. Parents and families need support, help, and what those without ACEs got and gave. Resources. Relationships.

Unconditional Regard. We want whole families to heal. We need those things in ourselves and with each other as we heal. It’s really hard and messy and slow but for me, it’s where solutions can come rather than changing the types of loss and trauma kids and family go through. What if we started with community and healing? 

Those of us who have adopted or fostered know our kids are always and forever connected to their birth families and first families. Forever. As adoptive families - so are we. We often forget that when it comes to birth families though. How deep and primal connections are and how generational patterns are.

I believe so many are well intended but often ignore how often the “help” hurts and is often responsible for traumatizing and retraumarizing kids and families. To me, systems need to change in order to better support families. 

Cissy

Don't forget to visit advancingparenting.org.  We call what we do proactive, participatory, passive, public parenting education and it could be a powerful force for good.