Are we ignoring the elephant in the room?
Aren't parents who engage in parenting behaviors and practices generally recognized as supporting their children's healthy development the most important source of resilience? And if this is the case shouldn't we be figuring out how to make better parents?
Probably the most resilient person I'm aware of is Elizabeth Smart. Kidnapped at 14 and raped daily for months this young woman has recovered and seemingly thrives. Why? She comes from a Mormon family and they are well known for their terrific parenting.
It seems like there's a sacred contract between a child and its parents that involves among other things love, protection, and nurture. When the contract is intact the child is usually quite resilient. When parents fail to love, protect, and nurture their child the contract is broken and the child experiences a horrible kind of betrayal that cripples their resilience and twists them into creatures that often harm themselves and others.
Ms. Smart was abused not by her loving parents, but by a stranger. Is this why she's been able to recover and thrive?
All this begs the question...if we want everyone to be resilient why isn't there a laser focus on ways to improve the quality of parenting in communities?
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