Recently I volunteered at the two-day, “Changing the Paradigm-Trauma and the Developing Child” conference, hosted by Echo Parenting & Education. This organization envisions a world of non-violence in which adults respect children by ensuring their right to emotional and physical safety. On day one of the conference, during her keynote speech, Echo’s founder Ruth Beaglehole, asked: “What action are you willing to take to make this world non-violent?” I don’t know Ruth very well, but from hearing her speak I feel that the cliché that “Our children are our future” has not lost its truth, but for her, the words must be backed by action. This passionate and caring woman told everyone in the room that the time was NOW. Take action. Right now!
For me the call to action brings forth many feelings, thoughts, and questions. It makes me reflect on what it is I want in life; question how important is it to take action on the basis of what I have learned; wonder how to go about taking that first step. It fills me with a sense of urgency, fear, and excitement; makes me feel alive and connected with something greater than myself. The words resonate and are filled with power: “The time is now, take action, right now!”
During this conference, I had the good fortune to sit next to David Gomez who over the course of the two days shared some of his life story with me. A story which compels me to act! David, not unlike too many young men these days, was raised by a single mother and no father. A single mother who struggled to make ends meet and who didn’t have the time or tools to give him the attention he needed. So having poor supervision and too much time on his hands, he began to go off track. Added to the lack of supervision was the violence that entered his home about three times a week when his mom’s boyfriend would come over to the house drunk and beat her up. David, having nowhere else to turn, sought safety and protection in a gang. The gang gave him attention, love, and care in the moment. What he didn’t know was that it was a long-term relationship with the many pitfalls that hanging out with the wrong crowd brings.
One day David and his friends went to buy beer but didn’t have money to buy enough for everyone. So they jacked some extra beer and got arrested. The incident led to him doing two years in a juvenile detention center. After he did his time, he was given the option to serve six months in the county (18+) or take house arrest with 200 community hours. He opted for option 2.
I’m sure at the time that David was unaware that the 200 hours would change his life. But change it, it did! David chose Echo Parenting & Education as the place to fulfill his community service. When he walked into Echo, Glenda Linares, Echo’s program manager, welcomed him. She let him know that they were open for help, that they weren’t going to judge him for his past and that he would only have to answer for what he did from that point on.
“A new beginning will start from this date,” she said. Up to then he had never been accepted for who he was, never got a second chance to prove to anyone that he could be different or do good. David now wants to give back to other young teens in need of help. He wants to use what he’s learned to empower and support any dream that they might have. He wants to give them a second chance, one that goes beyond judgment, as was done for him!
I have to ask myself: Would David, who is now clearly an asset to his family, community and society, be the young man he is today if he had chosen to serve the six months in the county (18+)? David currently works for Echo Parenting & Education. You can learn more about what they do through their web site www.echoparenting.org
All of us are defined, shaped, and developed by the family and community from which we come and in which we live. Our identity and well-being are embedded in our respective communities - our immediate family, our extended family, our schools, our place of worship, and our community organizations. But what does it mean when our communities are a battle-ground for trauma? How are we impacted when our environments are informed by violence? What do we do? Do we sit back and allow our family-community to self-destruct?
Leading researchers in the field of neuroscience, social psychology, and child development have substantiated the importance of trauma-informed care and solutions. Their research confirms that early childhood trauma disrupts cognitive development and intensifies social-emotional needs. Through their work we now know that the connection between social-emotional care and cognitive development are inextricable and give critical insight into the complexities of trauma. In one of his books, Born for Love, Dr. Bruce Perry expounds on the fact that compassion underlies the qualities that make society work -- trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity -- and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems such as war, crime, racism, and mental illness. Even physical health, from infectious diseases to heart attacks, is deeply affected by our human connections with one another.
Another young man who inspires me to take action is Angel Villaseñor! His story substantiates Dr. Perry’s beliefs on the power of compassion and empathy. Angel’s parents came here from Mexico seeking work and a better life. They were undocumented at the time, but eventually got residency and settled in Santa Monica, CA. Angel was born in 1983 and is the youngest of 10 siblings, four girls and six boys. His father died when Angel was three and his mother is a diagnosed schizophrenic.
Angel had a chaotic childhood full of violence and struggle. He told me that he thought that everyone just automatically knew to lay down on the floor when gunshots rang out, because to him it was natural, it was learned behavior. The environment he subsisted in taught him that in order to live you had to fight and survive by any means necessary.
His best friend was his brother, only two years older than him. Other than his brother, the only person to bring a little light into his world was his middle school teacher, Marie Everett. He felt her compassion and caring and didn’t want to let her down. She made him want to try to do well in school because he didn’t want to disappoint her. Once she witnessed him in a fight and she cried. Angel resolved to do better in order to live up to her expectations.
Throughout the 80’s and 90’s all of Angel’s brothers were gang members. Sadly when Angel was 14 years old, his brother and best friend got arrested for a gang shooting. Though only 16, Angel’s brother was charged as an adult and received a 20-year sentence. After his brother’s incarceration, Angel remembers life spinning out of control; he found himself getting in trouble and he began selling drugs.
Four years later, Angel, now 18, was finally old enough to be able to visit his brother. The visit was transformational. His brother, whom he loved and still considered his best friend, made Angel promise to leave the gang lifestyle, he asked Angel to choose freedom and make something of his life.
Around that same time, his high school counselor at Santa Monica High School, Liam Joyce, saw his leadership qualities and hired him as a TA. Because of Joyce’s caring and belief in him, Angel considered the thought of going to college. Because of caring, empathetic people in his life -- his brother, Everett, Joyce –- Angel went on to graduate from UC Santa Cruz with a bachelor’s degree in sociology and Latin American studies.
The story does not end there. Oscar de la Torre, director of the Pico Youth Center in Santa Monica, a long time community leader and activist, has been a part of Angel’s life since he was 15. Oscar also saw something in this young man, and after Angel’s graduation from UC Santa Cruz, Oscar hired him as a case manager for the center. A year later Angel went on to get his Masters degree from Syracuse University in cultural foundations of education. He is now back in his hometown and has returned to work at the Pico Youth and Family Center. He’s focused on preventing youth violence and making this our world a better place for all of us. Check out the work that they do on their web site www.picoyouth.org.
Both of the young men I’ve written about have told me that they owe their lives to the people who reached out to them with love. Love and connection are absolutely necessary, vital, and transformational components of healthy human development.
Like these young men, I am filled with gratitude and see myself blessed and fortunate to have had loving, empathetic
people reach out and help guide my path. With this in mind, on April 10th, 2014, I'll be driving up to Le Grand High School with my bicycle in tow to participate in their 2nd Annual Restorative Justice Conference, scheduled for April 12th. On the morning of April 13th I will set off from Le Grand with a couple of students who will accompany me for the first six miles as I get on my bicycle and begin a ride across the country to help bring awareness to and gather support for trauma-informed care services and solutions.
I’m starting my journey at Le Grand because on ACEsConnection.com I happen to read Jane Stevens' article - "The Restorative Justice League of Le Grand High School jumps in to save the day". After reading what she had written, I decided to visit Le Grand. This school, and others that you can read about on ACEsConnection.com, are part of a movement. A movement that I know will transform our society and its communities. Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” I believe that his words are a call to action!
I’m riding because we must demand that new policy measures focusing on providing trauma-informed care be introduced as a foundation for practice in all areas of social programming. Especially for our children.
I’m riding because today’s “corrective” policy measures have had disastrous consequences. One example is in our schools. Punitive measures such as zero tolerance have increased dropout rates and given life to a destructive school-to-prison pipeline that is destroying our communities and our children. You can read more about this problem in a study done by Tia Martinez; Out of School & Off Track: The Overuse of Suspensions in American Middle and High Schools.
I’m riding because I believe that true correction involves personal growth that can lead to personal transformation. I believe that trauma-informed care policy measures will engender personal growth and educational development, ultimately rendering positive transformation.
I’m riding because I believe and hope for a non-violent world, an empathetic world in which every human being can achieve to their fullest potential and be everything that they where put in this world to be. My faith and the gift of love and connection I received from others has inspired me throughout my life and filled me with resilience and courage. It has empowered me with strength and hope. Through the love of others I’ve learned to love myself. Jane's written a great piece about resilience - "Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, WA, tries a new approach to school discipline; suspensions drop 85%". There is also a great site created by the Children’s Resilience Initiative to help to increase the positive, resilience-building experiences in the lives of the children, parents and families in our communities -- resiliencetrumpsaces.org
Life is a journey and along the road there are many hills and valleys. Many times those hills seem insurmountable and it is in those moments and at those times that we most need the love of others to help carry us through. You never know where that person/persons with the power to change your life may come from.
***As part of this trip I plan to raise funds for Echo Parenting & Education. Information pertaining to the fund raising effort will be forthcoming.
***The newspaper clipping is a story from my cross-country bike ride In 1981.
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