Arrived at Le Grand High School on Friday April 18th at noon, bicycle in tow. The front office staff cordially greeted me and walked me over to Principal Javier Martinez. After a warm handshake and short debrief he marched me over to show me the room where my bicycle and traveling gear would be stored over night. Then we proceeded to the Le Grand American Legion Hall to meet up with the conference youth leaders and the four students that would participate with me in a story telling panel on Saturday, at Le Grand’s Second Annual Restorative Justice League Conference!
Walked in just in time to catch the youth leaders led by Andre Griggs, Program Coordinator and Jerome Rasberry Jr., Youth Engagement Coordinator, passionately practice the Justice League Cheer!!! After a very loud and boisterous cheering session, Principal Martinez excused himself to carry on with his other duties and I walked around the hall observing as everyone prepared for the conference. They had a full scheduled agenda…. forming and assembling into their peacemaker teams, working on ice-breakers, creating 20 second commercials, and reviewing respect agreements, all in preparation of the next days conference at which over two hundred Middle and High school students where expected from throughout the area.
Lunch came upon us and I got to sit and talk with Rebecca and Crystal, young women from the community, invested in giving of their time who started out as participants. They are now parents themselves and want to make a difference in a
young persons life, want to share the skills they’ve picked up and learned, want the youth to understand that they are not out there alone, that there are people who do care about them. Rebecca and Crystal have had totally different life experiences, different stories but have been friends for over twenty years and share a very special bond. Part of that bond stems from their mutual desire to be there for others the way others where there for them. They believe everyone needs healthy connection, everybody needs to be loved, needs to feel love, it doesn’t have to be blood or a relative, it can be a neighbor, or just a close friend, no one should go through life alone feeling like they have nobody there with them.
(In photo at left: Rebecca and Youth Coordinator Jerome Rasberry.)
The next day, Saturday, April 12th around two in the afternoon Gaby Lopez stood in front of over 200 students in the auditorium of Le Grand High School and shared her story. “I used to be shy and would always keep things to myself because I was afraid to speak ”she said. At one point, overcome with emotion, she paused as the youth in the audience quietly watched. One of the young girls in attendance asked her if she needed a hug. Gaby nodded and her friend walked up to her, they hugged. A young boy came down from the bleachers made his way over to her and also gave Gaby a hug. As he made his way back into the bleachers she said, “that’s my little brother and I love him.” Gaby resumed and told those in attendance that she wanted the youth in the audience to know that the work she had done through the restorative justice training helped her learn how to be herself, how to express her feelings and not keep them bottled up. “I used to be a person who if I had an opinion I would stay quiet because I thought it might be the wrong thing to say”, but now “I have a voice!” “I’m not afraid to be standing up here, something I would have never been able to do before, to let all of you know that it is important to have a voice, to never be afraid to speak up and to always have the courage to express how or what you feel.”
(In photo of group, Gaby stands next to Coordinator Andre Griggs doing Restorative Justice League cheer.)
Rudy Gonzales, spoke prior to Gaby and disclosed that he came home from school one day to be greeted by his parents who told him that they had decided to divorce. He was ten years old at the time and related that back then he was short, chubby and the kids bullied and made fun of him. “My rolls had rolls”, he said. He is now 19 and involved in numerous young men’s leadership programs. He also coaches youth wrestling and is a very fit young man. Rudy passionately shared that he wants to make a difference in young peoples lives and credited Le Grand High School and programs like Restorative Justice for teaching him to be himself, to be resilient, and most importantly to care about others, his community, and want to teach and encourage and help other young people find their true potential!
(In photo at left, Rudy is clapping in support of fellow Youth Leader.)
Antonio Ramirez, “Tony”, shared that he felt he didn’t have parents who offered him love guidance and support. That when he was in 8th grade his parents separated and his freshman year of High school was really hard for him, a real low point in his life, so much so that he contemplated hurting himself. “I used to have a negative perspective on my life back then but now I know that life is how I chose to react to it”, he said. He related growing up in a very Macho culture and family, people did not let their feelings be known. “It was really tough to be myself in that world”, he said. Tony remembered being 16 and getting up the courage up to go up to his father and hug him, “his face was priceless when I hugged him and told him I loved him”, “just like me no one had ever hugged him in his childhood!”, that was his generation macho, strict, never showed feelings, said Tony. In his senior year of High School Tony shared that he became very active, was part o the Avid Program, joined Mecha and attended democrat meetings at Merced college. It was during that time that he also got involved with the Restorative Justice program and started to see that he was living a lie. “I am who I am, God made me this way”, he said. He got invited to attend the Born This Way Foundation event with Lady Gaga in LA and realized that we came into this world to be happy with who we truly are. He told everyone in attendance that like him they should always be proud of being who you are! “Share your happiness, make a difference in someone’s life,” said Tony.
“I want to tell you that I was like many of you and would always keep things to myself “, said Edith. I didn’t like going home after school because my parents worked and I had to go to my aunts and uncles after school and they where always fighting. I was about ten years old and when it got real bad I would take my cousin, their son who was seven, and go outside because I didn’t want him to see that. It affected me a lot and I couldn’t concentrate and do my homework. I also had a problem at home because my father drank and he didn’t drink beer, he drank vodka. When I was eleven I went to the hospital to see him, when I walked in he looked at me and said, “I’m sorry”. “I don’t want you to be sorry”, I said, I want you to promise me that you’ll stop drinking. From that day on he never drank again. I’m a daddy’s girl have always been one and I’m happy he has stopped. He has diabetes and lost an eye but he is alive and doesn’t drink and I love him. Like Gaby I was part of the First Restorative Justice League program here at Le Grand last year. I’m back for the 2nd Annual Conference as a youth leaders because I want to be a role model for you younger kids. I learned so many things in this program and it’s also helped me in College at Fresno state where I am studying Nursing with a minor in Criminology”.
(In photo at left, Edith, in black shirt and jeans, stands in center.)
On the back of the shirts that everyone at the conference received are emblazoned the words “You are a Hero.” Listening to Gaby, Tony, Edith, and Rudy --- brought home the truth of what being a hero entails. As these young heroes spoke all in the audience listened intently, you could have heard a pin drop. Looking out into the audience I could feel the emotion, empathy and compassion resonating through the building.
Shortly before setting off on this journey I had attended a conference sponsored by the California Endowment called “Everyday Courage”, here now I was standing next to four young people who personified the true meaning of everyday courage and filled me with hope!
In his keynote speech at the “Everyday Courage Conference”, Dr. Robert Ross reported that we are now facing an epidemic of childhood trauma. He sited studies that show that two out of every three children in America experience some form of trauma, at least one in five are exposed to multiple trauma… physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse, seeing alcohol and/or drug abuse in the home, an incarcerated household member, a household member who is chronically depressed, mentally ill, institutionalized, or suicidal, and violence in the neighborhood, school or home. He unequivocally stated that the research clearly shows that traumatic stress literally blocks bodies and minds from developing in a healthy way.
The good news that he also shared with us was that research also shows that well-timed interventions in schools, neighborhoods, and health settings can help us heal. “Children need trusting relationships, with adults and each other, they need to be taught how to manage their emotions when scared and overwhelmed, he said.
Seeing the effect that these interventions are having at Le Grand, work supported in part by the California Endowments Healthy Communities funding, I realize that Dr. Ross is right! Early interventions do work. But I hope you see from these stories that in order to do so they need an essential element, the essential element being --- empathetic, compassionate, loving youth, adults, and community.
(In photo at left, Principal Martinez and Coordinator Griggs adjust helmets as they prepare to accompany me on the first 8 miles of my bike ride across the country.)
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