Have you ever been saved by an animal? Today I want to share how I was saved by a siamese cat and the value of animals to alleviate Childhood Toxic Stress when physical escape from trauma is not an option.
From Appreciation and Love
For 21 years I’ve shared my life with a sweet little squirrel of a Siamese (I like to call her), my Savannah. She is nearing the end now and there is no easy way to say good-bye. Because of my intense feelings around animals since childhood where the only relief I can ever recall from the terror I lived, was the snuggle and play time with my then Siamese Ping. Saying good-bye is something I’ve learned how to do, but there is always an emotional void that runs it’s course through the deepest parts of my memory banks to my very soul.
I don’t know how long I had my beloved Ping, because memories and timelines are skewed of my childhood. Ping was given to me by my dad after he moved out. He was my knight in shining armor, in spite of what he added to the yelling and the rage fighting between he and my mom, broken windows, drunkenness and well, turmoil, he was my dad and I loved him. When I came home from a visit with my dad, carrying Ping, my mother wouldn’t allow her in the house. We lived in Seattle, the rain was pouring and all I had was a sheltered ceiling for the walkway on the floor above as I huddled underneath refusing to come in without her. Ping mended my shattered dreams and confusion by her playful antics and the rhythm of her purr when I cried, I wasn’t alone and she represented a small piece of my dad I could hold onto.
To Numbing Darkness
Mom rebounded and married a dark and dangerous man that murdered Ping. Not in front of me, but I remember coming home from school and the dark, quiet and somber atmosphere of whispering adults around me. My mother thought she was protecting me and told me Ping had to be taken to the hospital, she was sick and died. I can’t even remember crying. All I remember was we quickly moved. And life plummeted into continual hardened criminal abuse mentally and physically as he stole any semblance of a normal childhood through daily abuse. In school I couldn’t concentrate, I felt at odds with the world unless I was with animals. I found comfort in the eyes of my neighbors standard poodle Jack, knowing he saw me and he knew my secrets.
Although that marriage was annulled at 3 months, my brother, mom and I escaped nearly losing our lives, sending me into a spiral of insecurity, self-limiting beliefs and hiding. Patterns of behavior and choices that would take me most of my life to overcome. And throughout those years growing up, I had a longing to fill the void I knew only a pet can fill. Animals save lives and can provide the blanket of security in between a world of adult choices that take away a child’s awareness of themselves.
To Bold Awareness
As an adult I filled my life with animals in an attempt to fill the void within me. At the time I brought Savannah home 21 years ago, I had 3 dogs, a parrot and she was my 4th cat. I lived an upscale affluent life, but today through two failed marriages I can see clearly choices weren't made from a healthy perspective, having never had positive role modeling. Still hiding from what I felt was an unsafe world, I sought to find someone who could protect me, affording a lifestyle where I could be home with my children. Hiding who I was so that those choices were made from wounded child instead of a woman who felt whole in herself as I do today. Animals matched my intuitive rhythm and always made me feel grounded through that connection. My pets provided a base in pleasure, bringing me present because animals live in the moment, while my feelings were numbed to the outside world. Today I'm making choices to live my greatest life and happy, but those kind of words, feelings or thoughts weren’t in the scope of possibility for me back then.
To Healing
Finally, 21 years later, I am whole. I am complete but not without a deep understanding of the wholeness and joy these beautiful souls can bring to our troubled youth and adult children of adversity, that still find themselves searching for the truth of who they are! The value of a pet in a child or adults life living with uncertain circumstances, mental health issues or a dysfunctional environment, should not be dismissed. An animal's ability to make a connection and allow someone to be present can often keep them from separating from who they truly are. They can bring hope to the hopeless and lonely, allowing space for feelings and emotions.
The use of an emotional support animal can be of high value and life saving. And is prescribed by a physician or treating mental health professional, for a genuine emotional or physical impairment. They don't have public access but are protected under HUD/FHA for housing and the Air Carrier Access Act. They are not service dogs and should never be used in place of a service dog. Emotional support animals essentially know there is a problem, but they don't know what to do about it, where as a service dog knows exactly what to do. Family pets also have great value and truly bring a security blanket of love and acceptance to the lives of those that feel alone or hopeless, even misunderstood. Looking back from where I am today, living in the richness and fullness of who I am having healed, animals allowed me a space to feel some positive emotions through an otherwise tumultuous world. My beloved Savannah will soon be resting and at peace, but today she is here and I get to snuggle her and will release her, knowing she helped me heal, grow and become.
Emotional support refers to all animals, service dogs are not pets and they have specific task for the disabled. Here is a copy of the most recent description of service dogs as published by the Department of Justice (DOJ) implementing the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). https://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm
I support working dogs and family pets and deeply know their value. Animals live in the moment, they center us and give us something to live for so that love becomes greater than fear. Have a story about a pet you'd like to share?
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