Severe early abuse survivor (high ACEs) - yet I have NO idea what resiliency is

Linda, here's my two cents:

I think the sapien organism has an amount of resiliency built in. I illustrate it this way. As a firefighter, we had to test our equipment every year. The ladder test was done by extending the ladder over saw horses, and then putting a weight in the middle of it. A prescribed weight for an amount of time. Naturally, a bit of bowing occurred. Then after the prescribed time, the weight was removed and if it was still serviceable, the ladder would return to straight because of it's built in ability to take a stress and respond to it after the stressor was removed. The older the ladder however, the more there might be some deviation in it. If it is overloaded, it of course fails, and in neurological terms perhaps we call that freeze.

Given chronic exposure the ladder over time will bow, it will bend lets say if it's dropped, and it will get nicked, the welds will weaken, pulleys will lock up and so on. The general condition of the ladder will deteriorate. Yet it still functions. I see humans that way. Resiliency is partly the survival mechanism we have from evolution, that drive to stay alive. Yet as the term is currently used, I think of it as the ability to bounce forward, so that I'm functioning at a new level, a higher level, rather than just functioning, because that gets less and less over time. The "bounce forward" needs the organism to release stress and trauma, whereas survival just requires hanging in there. 

In biological terms, our organism tends toward homeostasis. I've heard it called "balanced equilibrium," and we do things awkwardly and sometimes incorrectly as we interpret that signal from within. Robert Sapolsky calls it "allostasis." That is natural resiliency in my opinion, the "hanging in there" that we do as we try to fulfill those signals from within. Increasing the capacity of our nervous system, and enlarging our physiological and emotional states by releasing suppressed experience is what I call "bouncing forward." 

I survived 56 years because of evolution. I was able to strengthen that resiliency by the modality I used to heal.

Thank you, MEM LANG - yes!  I very much appreciate your perspective and affirmation.   

It took me 10 years to get my BS in psychology (1983) (being married, young kids, and all).  Immediately thereafter I took a graduate social work counseling course - which was taught as Feminist Social Work - and OH MY!!!!!!

I instantly recognized that the 'white male' angle of everything else I had been taught in my BS was so biased as to me about useless!  I was catapulted forward by this SW course into a new life.

I think your comment helps me go back today to make this connection.  This 'resiliency' push FEELS so old school to me as to be - about useless!  Now, THIS book is one I want to get and read ASAP -

-- Another important source mentioned by Phillips in "Childing" book ----

"First published in Portuguese in 1968, Pedagogy of the Oppressed was translated and published in English in 1970. The methodology of the late Paulo Freire (1921-1997) has helped to empower countless impoverished and illiterate people throughout the world. Freire's work has taken on especial urgency in the United States and Western Europe, where the creation of a permanent underclass among the underprivileged and minorities in cities and urban centers is increasingly accepted as the norm. With a substantive new introduction on Freire's life and the remarkable impact of this book by writer and Freire confidant and authority Donaldo Macedo, this anniversary edition of Pedagogy of the Oppressed will inspire a new generation of educators, students, and general readers for years to come." BOLD TYPE IS MINE

https://www.amazon.com/Pedagog...ogy+of+the+oppressed

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Maybe, also, I am 'sensing' that our culture would rather rush off pell-mell to be the first one to 'find a solution' rather than take the time to HONESTLY define 'the problem' accurately first.

I am not versed in sociology or anthropology - and I believe these fields of study are important to these considerations.  Developmental neuroscience and attachment aspects cannot be left out of the discussion.  Adult attachment needs to be brought in.  Also, the fact that the world is changing by the nanosecond as a new springtime unfolds the destiny of the human race matters, as well.

So I guess I will learn how to be more content with myself just knowing I DO NOT KNOW ---- with echoes!

Having a disorganised attachment to a very mentally ill parent (or two) and bringing up children 'successfully', in my books demonstrates an extremely high level of 'resiliency', albeit of a different kind to what is generally referred to! The term 'resiliency' is an inappropriate/inadequate description, I believe, in situations such as yours/ours.  

I know you're asking for a wider response than what I wrote, but thought it important to acknowledge this.