Spanking Children Harms Children

Daniel Parker posted:

I will review these resources. This is a curious issue for me because it flies in the face of my personal/professional experience. All kids are different and one approach may work well with one and not the other. I can see from just a common sense point of view that too much corporal punishment can be counterproductive. I must say I don't understand the semantics that call spanking or paddling the same thing as "hitting". That seems to me a much more personal, subjective view that would be shaming millions of people that don't strictly adhere to this way of thinking. Nevertheless, I will look these things over.   

Daniel ~ I really appreciate your openness, particularly considering your experience. I also understand that considering spanking and paddling as synonymous with hitting can evoke shame. I spanked (hit) my own children, as did my extended family and community. It was considered discipline when I was younger. I personally, do feel shame for hitting them. And I also appreciate that I was embedded in a culture that condoned it, and I was doing the best that I could. I think that this is true for millions of people. Ironically, when you think about it, bending a person over and hitting them on their bottom is a shaming experience. Children describe it that way. So I do believe that ultimately, spanking is shameful, and it falls on us rather than children to address it and end its practice.

We commonly use euphemisms as a way to protect ourselves emotionally. Calling hitting something different, allows us to distance emotionally from the act. I think that is why we use words other than hitting, because we love our kids, and we would not consciously intend to harm them.

Thanks, Daniel. I'm glad that you're looking into it. If you ever want to talk about this with @Jim Sporleder, he's a member of this community.

I will review these resources. This is a curious issue for me because it flies in the face of my personal/professional experience. All kids are different and one approach may work well with one and not the other. I can see from just a common sense point of view that too much corporal punishment can be counterproductive. I must say I don't understand the semantics that call spanking or paddling the same thing as "hitting". That seems to me a much more personal, subjective view that would be shaming millions of people that don't strictly adhere to this way of thinking. Nevertheless, I will look these things over.   

Hi, Daniel: Check out these articles that show some remarkable results in schools that move from punishment to understanding and helping:

https://acestoohigh.com/2012/0...-expulsions-drop-85/

https://acestoohigh.com/2015/0...school-say-the-data/

There are other articles about schools that have integrated practices based on ACEs science and shown similar results in the ACEs in Education community. Many schools no longer expel or suspend kids, because they don't have to. The kids are happy and, when they have issues, the school helps them deal with those issues. That doesn't mean there aren't consequences, but those consequences are framed in a way to help the kids learn.

Daniel Parker posted:

If anyone knows of data where they follow results between schools that continued corporal punishment vs. those that stopped the use of corporal punishment, and the outcomes as far as test scores, dropouts, juvenile detention, graduation rates, etc., I would be interested in reading. This issue of spanking is often presented as a foregone conclusion and defined in such spectacularly broad ways that I would also call it abuse. However, during my time teaching, I witnessed a lot of unruly kids who were suspended or sent home, or given time out, instead of corporal punishment, and I'm not convinced that this longer more passive method is as effective as a quick swat on the bottom, especially when there is obviously something dysfunctional already going on at the home. I've discussed this with friends and other teachers, but I'd like to see more data on this. 

Hi Daniel,

Yes, here is a link to information about school corporal punishment. At the bottom of the page are some research links. http://endhitting.org/home/paddling/

If you really want to dig into the research on spanking in general, here is a link: http://stopspanking.org/research/

Daniel, I think it is helpful to understand trauma (i.e. dysfuctional home environment) when you are trying to respond to children and youth who have incredibly disruptive behavioral problems. These children are actually at greatest risk when we hit them. The very children that people often want to reserve spanking for, are the children most negatively impacted over time. It further damages their already overly-reactive brain, and interferes with proper development that leads to learning problems, memory problems, anger problems, attentional problems and addiction of all sorts. The "swat on the bottom," puts the biology of the brain into a defensive state and creates compliance. You get compliance -- but at a huge cost. 

That said, the other punitive measures do not work well either. It really requires a huge paradigm shift where you create emotional and physical safety in the classroom. I have incredible empathy for teachers, because this is a very hard task. Many of these children have extreme reactivity in their bodies, so they can't sit still, they are compelled to be constantly talking with others to regulate, they are easily threatened and can then strike out at others, they can't tolerate people giving directives from across the room (their physiology perceives this as threat), they can't tolerate direct eye contact, they are reactive to men's voices (or women who use more flat tone, deep vocalization), they need to fidget and move almost constantly in order to manage themselves.

Here are some resources that may help. Also, check out Tina Payne Bryson's work, because she lectures nationally on the topic of how to help teachers respond to disruptive behavior. We actually hosted a conference in Atlanta to help teachers find better alternatives to paddling children, and it was very well received. 

How we can inadvertently activate our children's nervous system...

https://youtu.be/DNIozAiorZA?t=33

Neurodevelopmentally Informed Parenting/Mentoring and Trauma

George Davis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNt4Wsp7CwA

Robbyn (me): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pB2vCDGiCQ

Hitting children puts the brain in a state of danger (defense) and interferes with learning. It also betrays trust and teaches the child that people who love you also intentionally hurt you. 

One last comment. I would respectfully ask that you reflect on the language "swat on the bottom." You are hitting a child on his/her bottom. Further, you are hitting a child in an erogenous zone. Just google the word spanking without referencing children, and you will see one of the profound and unspoken outcomes of mixing violence in close relationships (parents, teachers). Hitting children on their bottoms can disrupt the organization of pleasure, pain, motor development, and sexual development.

We don't hit women anymore. We don't ask for research to prove that we shouldn't hit women. Why? Because women wouldn't tolerate that! Woman have power and voice. Children do not. When we wake up to what a "swat on the bottom," actually is, it is rather horrifying. As a culture, that is what we are doing - waking up.

If anyone knows of data where they follow results between schools that continued corporal punishment vs. those that stopped the use of corporal punishment, and the outcomes as far as test scores, dropouts, juvenile detention, graduation rates, etc., I would be interested in reading. This issue of spanking is often presented as a foregone conclusion and defined in such spectacularly broad ways that I would also call it abuse. However, during my time teaching, I witnessed a lot of unruly kids who were suspended or sent home, or given time out, instead of corporal punishment, and I'm not convinced that this longer more passive method is as effective as a quick swat on the bottom, especially when there is obviously something dysfunctional already going on at the home. I've discussed this with friends and other teachers, but I'd like to see more data on this.