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Stuckness Along The Journey of the Wounded Healer

I have shamed myself. Not deliberately, but nevertheless actively.

 

I never dreamed that one day I would research and write about healing psychological trauma. Or the perils of the mental health field. Or its pearls. It was really a matter of bad luck.

 

As a trauma survivor, I turned my fate into destiny. Writing helps me heal, and I've been ecstatic to learn my writing also helps others. Now my personal efforts at healing and helping others heal overlap so much they seem almost synonymous.

 

Originally, I thought this was purely accidental. That was before I learned about the archetype of the wounded healer while studying counseling psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute. Turns out this is a common response to deep psychological wounding.

 

So much for being original. But this wasn't how I was shaming myself. I understood that because of BIG PHARMA and the cult of professionalism, there was big money and big egos in need of wounded people willing to play the sick role. I wasn't the only one who had been misguided.

 

Although I never dreamed of becoming a wounded healer, I did dream of becoming a psychiatrist. My father was a psychiatrist, and so I learned very early in life that such a profession actually existed. It seemed so intangible and magical to me back then. To imagine that someone could use his mind to heal another's mind — well, to my child self that was even more impressive than a Ouija Board.

 

During the inception of psychiatry as a medical profession — the heyday of Sigmund Freud, Carl Gustave Jung, Pierre Janet, William James, and Sabina Spielrein — the wounding was still wellspring of knowledge and creativity. Much like the shaman of earliest human cultures, madness was still potentially an initiation into the healing arts — the so-called journey of the wounded healer.

 

But with the advancement of the profession of psychiatry came an emphasis on diagnoses, such as Hysteria, a prominent diagnosis during the nineteenth century, one that shamed not only the women diagnosed, but had a way of insinuating all women were mentally unstable.

 

A diagnosis of mental illness has always been shameful and stigmatizing. Diagnoses are evidence of the need for a professional capable of steering the stray mind back towards the boundaries of sanity, if not civilization. Granted, we all need help at times, but being pathologized is rarely helpful.

 

And lost is the connection between the wisdom in the wound and the art of healing.

 

I've tried to live this socially constructed divide between wounded and healer, inhabiting one side or the other, both socially and in my beliefs. It doesn't work. It's a false divide, and like any falsehood about oneself, is inherently shaming and painful.

 

I'm tired of half-truths and limiting beliefs and damaging social conventions. Especially since they have a way of propagating less than ideal solutions and more suffering, and when simple truths lead to the best outcomes. And really, how few among us aren't wounded healers? Isn't it just a matter of degree rather than difference? Aren't distinctions between the wounded and the healer just another way of constructing Hierarchy and projecting fears of inadequacy, or alternatively, projecting one's power and idealisations onto another?

 

So I've changed my tagline on my blog to Trauma's Labyrinth | Journey of the Wounded Healer. It's more in line with my writing and my general beliefs about the direction the mental health field will eventually go if it maintains its focus on trauma.

 

I feel better already. Less stuckness and no shame.

 

If you are also fragmented by distinctions between the "wounded" and the "healer," I urge you to find ways to creatively push beyond this artificial divide. For some, this requires getting in touch with the wounding that compels them to devote their lives to healing others. For some, it means acknowledging the profound wisdom and strength gained through attending to their own wounds.

 

When I pull together my experiences as researcher, therapist, and trauma survivor, my best insights come forth in the amalgam of these different roles and perspectives. And the greatest insight of all? When these two sides are integrated, the wounded and the healer — both within ourselves and our communities — healing is transformative and enduring.

 

© 2015 Laura K Kerr, PhD. All rights reserved.

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Elizabeth,

Thank you for this reply. I wish I had landed in your office when I was deep in my victimhood (ha-ha)! I have always loved the description of the journey as a spiral, but never as much as you have written it here. Thank you.

Laura,

Indeed, diagnosis can be incredibly shaming. In particular, mental health diagnosis does nothing to speak to the 'why', which is where compassion lives. I've been a practicing psychotherapist for over 10 years and essentially dismiss the diagnosis as nothing more than a billable, medical requirement for treating various presentations of pain. If anything, I would think that arriving at 'wounded healer' is, in a way, a sign of recovery and something to feel good about. I can appreciate that none of us are maybe excited to call ourselves 'wounded' (well, maybe there's a period of time when we enjoy the secondary gains of hanging out in the 'victim' spot on the Karpman Drama Triangle-haha). I was also thinking that combining trauma-informed care with the journey of the wounded healer is essentially the blueprint for world peace. What would our lives be without trials or suffering? Buddha in his palace, day in and day out...the garden before the fall... It is good to long for that restoration to paradise because isn't that what motivates us to do good things, be kind, be mindful, spread hope, research, share? I think we need our trials and that there is something inherently valuable within them. As Jung points out in his wounded healer theory, we come full circle in our journey; that is how we grow ourselves and the community we live in (sharing the gift). I used to teach my clients that we essentially repeat the cycles like one long spiral throughout our lives, but that the circles within the spiral become smaller, less of the 'turning our world upside down' kind, and nearly imperceptible as move forward through our lives. It's not necessarily because our trials become easier, but because we become more adept at surfing the waves as we learn coping skills and 'wake up'. I would teach them this to prepare them for the next hit, even if the next hit was nothing more than a rainy day or car trouble. There was sometimes the assumption that once they'd overcome one particular struggle they were free to be on their way and live a pain free, stress free, 'perfectly happy' life. Oh dear...couldn't send them on their way with that misconception! How many books are in The Hobbit? Or Harry Potter?

Thanks for letting me share. It's helpful having a place to put all these thoughts! -e

Originally Posted by Christine Cissy White:

Dear Laura:

Go you! I love your new tagline and embracing ALL of what you know, experience and draw on. It was great to read your post. You have so much to draw on and tap into and pull from. Thanks for sharing. 

Warmly,

Cissy

Thanks, Cissy! I was definitely inspired by our earlier online chat on the topic. And thanks, too, for getting the Facebook group together.

Dear Laura:

Go you! I love your new tagline and embracing ALL of what you know, experience and draw on. It was great to read your post. You have so much to draw on and tap into and pull from. Thanks for sharing. 

Warmly,

Cissy

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