The Challenge of Breathing on Purpose

in class, we make calming jars that help regulate breathing as the kids watch the glitter or color settle out.  i also bust out the bubbles for my middle school kids when we are talking about tough stuff, or when the mood in the classroom is tense.  as a kid, i found every day ways to focus on things that (i didn't realize at the time) helped regulate my breathing.  like watching the raindrops crawl down a window.

Wendie Skala posted:

I too have trouble with my breathing patterns and holding my breath. My trainer suggested I try therelaxator. Normally I hate gadgets but I have found that this little piece of plastic really helps me with my breathing.   Hope you find it as helpful as I did. 

https://www.consciousbreathing...s/relaxator-exercise

 

thanks for the idea.  unfortunately, i have oral defensiveness and experiences when i had to push against resistance in order to breathe, so this one isn't an option.

thank you so much for your replies.  i agree with cissy that we have to be careful about children still in traumatic situations.  after all, getting "caught" meditating may put them in danger.  i have started to give them private coping skills to use at school, home and the community that will help them connect with themselves without others noticing.  one is drawing -- letter by letter -- i am ok (on the palm of their hand).  another is tapping each finger to their thumb while saying with each tap "i can do this".

and maybe it was a maladaptive survival strategy i developed as i child, but i still share it with my students:  you can say ANYTHING you want inside your head.  no one can punish you for it or question it or take it away.  so long as it doesn't come out of your mouth (or show in your facial expression), it's YOURS.

Barbara:

Breathing isn't optional!

I say that, not to shame you, but to show you that you aren't alone. It's something I remind myself of ALL THE TIME when I notice myself in a breath-holding contest with the universe for no reason. It's a habit.

I have to remind myself to slow down and to breathe. I think, for so many with developmental trauma and ACEs, the most basic bodily functions, breathing, sleeping, eating, playing, sex, etc. can be so out of sync. I know many survivors talk/share this stuff and it impacts our daily life way more than flashbacks etc. (not that that's not a big issue as well), but I think this other stuff doesn't get talked about enough. 

Also, I always worry about teaching meditation and breathing to students who are still not safe. It's one thing, for me, who doesn't "feel safe" a lot but is actually safe to learn or experiment with some of these techniques. But, for kids who are still living with danger, who have to leave school and go home and maybe still have ACEs as present and active, I'm just not convinced that messing with the highly adaptive and necessary coping of checking out, numbing out and dissociation is a good thing. It might be great for the brain and buffering, and I hope someone shares that if it's true. I worry that it takes away a necessary protection. Like in a war, do you want people totally present to the breath and body and the sensations of near death or survival, or totally and 100% having resources GO TO survival? I'm just not clear we know enough about doing these things WHILE KIDS ARE STILL in danger. Relationships, and strengthening those? Heck yes! Playing more and having places to be safe? Heck yes. Showing that the world is good and there are safe places? Great. But, tinkering with the body that's pretty remarkable and adaptive at survival, teaching and doing new things, IF DANGER still there. I don't know about that. 

Just me two cents.

Cissy

I too have trouble with my breathing patterns and holding my breath. My trainer suggested I try therelaxator. Normally I hate gadgets but I have found that this little piece of plastic really helps me with my breathing.   Hope you find it as helpful as I did. 

https://www.consciousbreathing...s/relaxator-exercise

It sounds like a deep full breath may be triggering you?  

Maybe begin with observing your current/ shallow breathing.  Mindfulness technique suggests paying attention to one detail of the breath, such as noticing the current of air as it goes in and out of your nostrils.  Once you are settled into a rhythm of your normal breathing, you could then notice the "count" of the rhythm (1-2-3) and extend it slightly (1-2-3-4) for a couple of breaths only.  Or you can leave the inhale alone, and try to slow down your exhale, and extend that 'count' slightly.  Again, just playing with extending the length and depth of the breath but not going all the way to an officially 'deep' breath.

Singing is another great natural breathing exercise.   A long phrase demands a deeper breath to get all the words out, yet there is little stress in singing!