The Untold Story of Military Sexual Assault

Michael Matthews was 19 and in the U.S. Air Force when he was raped by three fellow airmen. After 20 years, he retired at the rank of technical sergeant. He kept his secret for 30 years. He describes the rape and the effects it had on his life in this oped for the New York Times.   

Something struck my head and I was knocked unconscious. When I came to, there were two men holding me. At first, I thought that an object had fallen and hit me, and that these people were trying to help me. I soon realized they were holding me down. When I struggled, they started punching me in the head. They told me to shut up or they’d kill me.

A third man grabbed my pants and pulled down my underwear.

“I bet you’re going to like this,” he said.

.....But my real problems were psychological. Sexual assault, whether in the military or in civilian life, is solely about the abuse of power, about control and domination. The lasting scars it leaves are psychic. I suffered from depression; my personal relationships were troubled and always failed. I made several suicide attempts; finally, after my last, I wound up in front of a seasoned social worker at a Department of Veterans Affairs medical center in Northport, N.Y.