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+THE WONDER OF IT ALL

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This is a post I wrote this morning about the interplay between empathy, imagination, imaginative  "pretend play" and denial.  What do we know?  What are we ready (able) to know?  What might link the California summer weather that is causing rampant flooding and dangerous wildfire risks in (my beloved) Alaska, a young Air Force man's bizarre deadly shooting in a Walmart 90 miles north of where I live, the eyes I see so heavily gazing back to me in my kindergarten picture -- and trauma?

All it seems I can ever do is ponder:

 

+THE COST OF NOT KNOWING

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Thank You, Linda Danielson, for posting the link to this New Yorker article. I'm not sure it was a "War on Poverty", but a rather timid assault on the consequences of, rather than the causes of, Human Misery. But America has fought repetitive wars in the past, from the Policy of Containment [of Communism], to our on-going excursions in the Middle East. We may fare better with a "War On Poverty", rather than inflicting violence and trauma on the world-which includes our own nation, as well.

I clicked on the link....and just finished reading it. It gives us "Food For Thought", and a bit of understanding as to why we lost the "War on Poverty" (perhaps a painfully timid assault on the consequences rather than the causes of human misery.) The New Yorker article, certainly earned Kudos for providing details on the National Scientific Council's important research about Poverty. Thank You for posting this, Linda.

Thank you for this, Robert!  Excellent, important information!  I will add the link to this comment to my ongoing "to be studied later" folder!!  I have also subscribed to this site - and am collecting for my future thinking all of the posts I receive from this

 

http://surfaceyourrealself.com...surfaceyourrealself/

 

I will be returning to a small rural town (pop. 5,300) area - and among other efforts (for example) hope to find ways to work with locals concerning the needs of the area and of the FUTURE - especially regarding valuable "care" projects that are currently being orchestrated by people in their 70s - who will carry on this work and how?  (etc.)

 

I very much appreciate your comment here!  Thank you

Last edited by Linda Danielson

Linda, I'm looking at a copy of "Trauma-Informed Community Building: A Model for Strengthening Community in Trauma Affected Neighborhoods" by Weinstein, Wolin, Rose. On the first inside page, it notes "Bridge Housing Corporation--leader in the field of Affordable Housing..." and "Health Equity Institute, San Francisco State Univ.".   "In 1997 HUD released "Community Building in Public Housing: Ties that Bind People and their Communities" as a Foundational Document to promote Community Building. Further back, a chart entitled: "III. Trauma as Challenge to Community Building", noting "Lack of trust and social cohesion" is a "Trauma Challenge to Community Building" as "Lack of stability, reliability and consistency: Residents are tired of empty promises that don't result in tangible changes or that exist for only a short time so they don't participate in community building activities. Inability to vision the future. Residents are often overwhelmed by the realities of their current life and can't imagine how things will be different or trust that it will happen so they don't attend the planning activities or actively protest the project. Disempowerment and lack of a sense of Community Ownership. The community has faced years of disinvestment and a scarcity of resources.... High level of personal needs Residents face daily stresses in their lives that make it hard for them to focus beyond their immediate needs. Therefore participating in community change is not a priority. Depth and breadth of community needs Due to historical disinvestment in the community, the needs of the community are extensive and the ability of community based organizations to meet those needs is limited by resources and capacity. ... The experience of Trauma resembles "A LOSS of Confidence in the surrounding tissue of Family and Community... CHALLENGE 1: LACK OF TRUST AND SOCIAL COHESION....  

 

Having 'worked' as a "community organizer" on five occasions (four 'paid' positions and voluntarily with VietNam Veterans trying to get a VVA Chapter started), I am amazed at the "trauma" I saw neighborhoods building resilience around...from the two "tours" [in the "War on Poverty"] I did as a VISTA Volunteer, to visits to the Southeast Bronx-which was at that time [1973] was a very Disinvested community--my then girlfriend's [blonde haired/blue eyed] mother tried to get a mortgage for my then girlfriend's South Bronx brownstone and was turned away by every bank in NY/NJ until she went to the Harlem Savings Bank. The "House Staff" Residency brochure at Lincoln Hospital noted that in the Southeast Bronx: 85% of the housing was substandard or deteriorated; leading cause of death was heroin overdose; Tuberculosis was six times the national average; VD/STD's were four times the national average.....and my then girlfriend was one of a number of doctors in that neighborhood that made "house calls" [home visits]; most banks had "Red-lined" that neighborhood. Estimates had the heroin addicted population there at 100,000-at that time. .... 

Some have argued that "Poverty" is a form of "Toxic Stress" that contributes to, or should also be considered an ACE in itself--whether it is rural or urban. I hope I've contributed to that issue, as well.

Linda, I think one of tonight's blog posts addressing the "Neuroscience of Neighborhoods", and the "blocks" and "paths" and "boundaries" of neighborhoods, may be as appropriate to Urban areas as they are to "landmarks" and "paths"...are equally appropriate to the Alaskan wilderness. Our "Orienting Responses" help us find our way in either of those locales....

I chuckle at myself.  END THE SUFFERING of everyone -- something about Nirvana not being possible, actually, for ONE person to reach until the suffering of everyone has been ended.  The suffering of our environment and its myriad life patterns is being harmed by people - so if nobody suffered the rest of the world would not suffer from humans ruining things.

 

Or something like that!!!  

Hi Tina - A friend of mine was telling me about a Tibetan Buddhist principle that I sure don't remember to repeat here.  But in thinking about what he was telling me I had a kind of epiphany.  I explained it to my friend and he responded, "Yes, like that."

 

Because the beauty of the Alaskan wilderness, its presence and place it has in my life as my "attachment" entity, it is hard for me to wrap my mind and heart about what my friend was describing.  If we were to take adequate care to ensure well-being for each member of our species in turn the planet would not be suffering, either.

 

Putting concerns for people first over the other needs the rest of the natural world has for us not to harm it is not the way I ordinarily think.  But I see this point -- and I do suspect it is correct.

 

In terms of pictures and eyes that have "been in that war" -- because the pictures are only 2-D it is easier for me to think in terms of paper dolls, or even in terms of the body showing in the picture as being a kind of wall.  The spaces where the eyes are being cutout -- what shows in the eyes seems like it is behind the wall-image of the body and it shows through from behind (within) the image as they reflect the other world, the real world, the universe so few "others" can detect -- that can seem unreachable and incomprehensible.

 

The ACE information is beginning to open channels of knowledge and communication that can help not only STOP those kinds of trauma - but also begin to provide ways we can KNOW more about one another's realities.

I like that you are brave and try to rip the niceties down. I don't know if his eyes had that look, I could kind of see it. But when I was a SR. in HS and now living w/ my biology teacher ... He always told me that my  eyes looked like that famous cover of the Afganistan girl on Nat. Geo which came out the same yr in 1985.  I have 3 Polaroid photos of me as a kid, and in them all, I am only 2, my brother has just been born and in all there is no expression on my face, just big eyes staring at the woman w/a camera. I find this denial strange. I cannot understand it certainly not as to what we are doing to the planet. If one doesn't care about others kids okay but if you have your own or grandchildren I cannot fathom how there seems to be "group think" level denial here.   I would have never killed others but I could understand how inside the cruelty and indifference of the world could push some to do so.  I always thought, more empathy (some empathy) you have no idea that this massive amount of hurt being put on others could come back in haunting and tragic ways.  I kind of see it that way too with how we are treating the planet and the response to our indifference and cruelty to her may have similar terrible consequences.
Last edited by Former Member

I hear you!  Powerful words, powerfully written.  Thank you, Robert.

I won't be following the story about this young man, but word continues to reach me through people in town.  Evidently he left friends waiting out in the car he arrived in while he went into the store.  None of them had a solitary clue there was anything wrong.

 

Last edited by Linda Danielson

I had been entertaining thoughts this past week, that I might be dissociating, or utilizing Dissociative Defenses, of late. I happened to check the index of a book on Co-Dependence-which I had lying around. I read a portion of one item which I had checked for in the index. Initially, it reassured me that I wasn't dissociating about that, but that I had some ambiguity in my family-of-origin, and the ambiguity might also be some "Cognitive Dissonance" about interpersonal boundaries. I also found myself asking how similar much of Co-Dependence and Attachment Disorders are, in spite of their being different "diagnostic constructs". I briefly recalled my Mentor in Toastmasters giving me Four Pointers as I prepared my first "Ice-Breaker"  prepared speech. He [while inviting me to peruse his partly completed Ph.D. dissertation] said: "Abstract Concepts Depersonalize People." [and three other 'pointers']. I used mostly "I" statements in my Ice-Breaker speech: "JUST A SPOONFUL". I began: "My friends"- (while leaning forward over the lectern-and noticing that I had eye-contact with forty people, [dramatic pause- as I stepped back one step from the lectern) "I came to Toastmasters because I needed to. I have feelings and needs. I need to know how and when to communicate those feelings and needs, because I am afraid. I am afraid of people. Many people have hurt me. Many people have also helped me. ... "  As the newest novice member, doing their first speech, I didn't expect to be voted "Best Speaker" that eventing, but I was. The members of that Toastmasters Club [#3259] helped me immeasurably. They Listened [and they all maintained eye contact, throughout my five and one-half minute speech] ! ! ! If I hadn't been fortunate enough to have had them then, might I have later done something like that young Air Force man did recently at Walmart in Grand Forks, North Dakota ? ? ?

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