Some excerpts from this essay by Kat Jaibur in the Medium.
Dear person,
You are not a screw up.
You are not doing the holidays wrong.
You are not a bad person if you are struggling.
You are not cursed even if you are grieving.
If you have done things you regret, stick around and turn the page. Another chapter awaits you. Mistakes can be powerful teachers, and second chances are the best chances of all.
If you feel like opportunities have passed you by and your life looks nothing like what you thought it would, hang in there. You may get to see why some things happened the way they did and how it really was for the best in the long run. Or it may remain a mystery.
Cissy's Note: Note: There have been years when I've tried to fast forward the time between Thanksgiving and New Years'. There were too many getting together things in a time when I didn't know how to say or stand up for what I wanted, needed OR how to deal with the feelings, responses or feedback from others if I did. So, it seemed I was stuck in a hard place no matter what I did or didn't do. My solution was to sleep, binge on carbs, TV and stay numb and fuzzy for about six weeks.
This isn't one of those years for me. I almost didn't write that for fear it sounded like I'm gloating. I say it because I feared I'd never be at peace on the holidays. I sat it because I was wrong about that. Maybe you are open to being wrong as well if you feel peace and holidays can never go together - if not now, in the future?
This year, I'm grateful, I'm blessed with only worrying about if one package will be in before Christmas Eve or if I'll have to come empty-handed or face the mall again. I have money for gifts and people I am eager to share time with. I have enough food, gas and meaning. I'm lucky and blessed and am not currently post-traumatically stressed (knock on wood). Some of those things are from healing but some of it's also just luck.
I'm not different or more or less anything when I'm struggling, though I don't know or believe that when in pain. How can we hold that knowing when we need it most? Do know that pained you is as valuable and worthy as the perky version? I say it in case you don't know or forget too.
Some of us are in discomfort. Some among us are in agony. Some of us are, as is always the case, struggling a little or a lot. Some are not and that's celebration worthy too but if we aren't let's extra remember those who are.
Someone forwarded this essay to me yesterday to share it with others I said I would. To be honest, I usually limit posts that speak directly about faith or God, for the most part, because while that is so grounding and healing for some it's just as triggering and polarizing for others. But this one is an essay and the author, Kat Jaibur, is speaking for and as herself and speaking to everyone who chooses to read. Above, what she said, is so clear and dear I had to share it. I'm going to post this in the Practicing Resilience & Self Care Community, too.
If you find something that supports, inspires, comforts, speak for or to you or others, please consider posting it in our Practicing Resilience for Self-Care & Healing Community. Let's support ourselves and each other, at this time of year, and always (and if you need help with posting let me know that as well).
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