In cultural mythology—the bedrock of which is that all women are instinctively maternal, and that all mothers are loving—the daughter who goes no contact and cuts her mother out of her life is deemed selfish, immature, and ungrateful.
I know this firsthand, having divorced my mother at the age of 38; I did not see her again before she died, some thirteen years later.I’ve seen people adjust how they view me —among them, doctors who ask about my mother’s medical history and the look on their faces when I say I don’t know—and I have heard from total strangers whenever I write about me and my mother. It’s never complimentary. I’ve been called a narcissist, an ingrate, and much worse.
If you divorce Mom, the culture will put you on trial. Even people who know you and care about you may have trouble understanding why you would do something so out-of-sync, so draconian. They may murmur something such as, “Gee, couldn’t you have just hung in? I mean, how bad was it? You weren’t living with her, after all” or other statements of the same ilk.
[For more of this story, written by Peg Streep, go to http://blogs.psychcentral.com/...gs-you-must-realize/]
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