Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships

It is no secret that many Americans have gone through past trauma. Many people believe that only certain people have gone through trauma such as only people who have served in a war or those who have gone through mass shooting. These are only two examples of trauma, there are actually a lot more situations in which people experience trauma. Some examples are: childhood sexual abuse (CSA), violent or toxic relationships, childhood abuse like neglect or violence, and any time a person has felt as if their life was threatened. It is important to note that two people might have gone through a similar event and one person might have been traumatized by it and the other person might not have due to the difference in perception (Clark et al., 2015).

Just like with the difference in perception, those who have experienced trauma might respond to it in different ways and it can show up very different. For some, they might have a problem maintaining relationship due to lack of trust, some might turn to substances, others might experience symptoms of depression or anxiety. Trauma actually goes deeper than just emotions and behaviors; experiencing trauma actually impacts our neurology and that can affect being able to save memories or attach to other, as a child, in a healthy manner. This is especially detrimental when a child experiences trauma as their brain is still developing and this is the time they learn about trust and attachment to others (Clark et al., 2015).

Regardless of the type of trauma a person experiences, trauma largely affects a person's attachment and relationships with others. Trauma causes a person to lose trust with others, dissociate, and overall use unhealthy coping mechanisms if not equipped with the right skills and a healthy support system. This directly affects family, social, and romantic relationships. If a person does not engage in healthy coping mechanism, they often are not engaging in healthy relationships. It is important to identify trauma, understand the responses to it, and work on moving past and replacing unhealthy coping mechanism with adaptive and prosocial coping mechanisms (Clark et al., 2015).

Reference

Clark, C., Classen, C. C., Fourt, A., & Shetty, M.  (2015). Treating the trauma survivor: An essential guide to trauma-informed care. New York, NY: Routledge.