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Trigger Points: Childhood Abuse Survivors Experiences of Parenting

trigger points
This is the first book FOR and BY survivors of childhood abuse geared specifically towards the experiences of parenting.
 
THE FIRST! 
 
THE ONLY!
 
It includes essays from over twenty men and women survivor parents with children of all ages. 
 
It's the heart-brain child of Dawn White Daum and Joyelle Brandt who met in September of 2014 after Dawn wrote about raising a daughter as a survivor in Scary Mommy entitled Raising a Girl as a Survivor (http://www.scarymommy.com/raising-a-girl/)
 
They had not met or been friends but found each other through words.
 
Words shared that made them feel less alone.
 
Glorious words.
 
They joined forces to create a book. 
 
Dawn and Joyelle had each done, as I have done, as others are doing ALL THE TIME, searched bookstores and online for topics such as:
 
"parenting as a survivor"
"parent triggers"
"support for parents who had abusive childhoods"
"break-the-cycle parenting"
 
And found NOTHING.
 
Maybe a chapter here and there. Maybe a mention in a larger book. Maybe a clinical book. But nothing to and for and by other parent survivors. 
 
There is next to nothing at all anywhere that is honest, practical and helpful. Even less that is memoir, written, produced and made for and by other survivor parents. And practical.
 
That's changing.
 
Now, there will be a book to take to bed, to therapy or to share with a lover or partner. Now, survivors who parent will feel less alone.
 
This is a triumph over shame too because all of us have joined together and we aren't writing with distance or hiding behind titles or professional labels but speaking openly and honestly as parents in this situation.
 
Here's how it is for me.
 
We share.
 
We tell. We tell the truth.
 
Even though it's about two vulnerable topics.
  1. Parenting.
  2. Childhood abuse and how it impacts us.
We share about parenting without a road map or a default setting we can lean into, rely on and know is guiding us well.
 
We share about creating new patterns, traditions and ways of being, responding, emoting and interacting.
 
We share about the wonderful work that is also difficult and exhausting at times - for all parents - and even more so for survivor parents.
 
So it's nice to know others have been there or "get it" and can say, "me too."
 
Dawn and Joyelle reached out and made a book out of what they wanted, needed, craved and deserved. In the process they found others.
 
LOTS AND LOTS OF OTHERS.
 
In the process they helped create community too online (https://www.facebook.com/Trigg...ntsAnthology?fref=ts)
 
Just this week parents have been talking about if, when and how to share being a survivor of abuse. What's age appropriate? What's necessary? What's a dodge? What's a lie? What's helpful or hurtful? What does our particular child need? 
 
That's not easy. Not intuitive. But it's important. Relevant.
 
There aren't a million articles on if-when and how to tell your child Mommy has PTSD or Grampy isn't safe and countless other important topics. There are more resources for talking to your child about terrorism than a parents trauma history even though poses more actual consequences for our kids in day to day life.
 
So here, we join our voices, speaking for ourselves and also collectively.  Here, we also listen to each other. Bearing witness. Honoring. Nodding. Knowing what it takes. 
 
I believe we break the cycle of abuse, in part, by breaking silence. Having safe places to explore the if, when and how, the what happened when I did (or didn't) share and what I learned, know, wish and can say... 
 
That sort of thing. And the countless other things too...
  • fears of pregnancy, our own body, repeating the cycle, passing on crazy, the impact of going off drugs while pregnant or deciding to stay on drugs because the risk of depression with PTSD is too great, or co-sleeping, breastfeeding, discipline, boundaries, managing self care, if and when and how to tell our children about our history, their extended family and the consequences of doing or failing to do so.
Important stuff.
  • Attachment parenting, healthy boundaries, understanding feelings, attunement, learning the difference between symptoms and feelings, learning how to nurture without overcompensating or while dealing with health problems or anxiety, keeping unsafe relatives at out of contact, etc.
Crucial stuff.
 
  • This is a book about break-the-cycle parenting and it honors the journey, the process, the challenges as well as sweet moments of love, savoring safety and joy and health and love. Where we can share what goes well, what is easier than expected and more rewarding than we've every dreamed. The miracle moments and full-hearted love.
The celebratory stuff. 
 
And the practical stuff too. Websites, tips, helpful advice as well.
 
Plus more community. The sharing of names of others who are parenting, writing, advocating and doing this work too. 
 
There's joy, power and strength without avoiding the pain or triggers. The sad and hard stuff is here too. Not doing as well as we'd like or the bittersweet realization that it really wasn't our fault and that children really are vulnerable, dependent and helpless. Even if we know that in our mind it's felt differently when seen, by us, as parents to innocent and tender beings of our own.
 
How intense the pressure can be to parent well because we know the lifelong difference it can make. How that knowledge is wonderful.
 
And terrifying.
 
The ache to for what we didn't have in our childhoods so we could have provided more if it for our children from their very beginning.
 
And also gratitude for all we have learned and do give and how we are able to love, securely.
 
This is one book with ALL OF THIS ALL IN ONE PLACE!
 
These two ferocious women started something amazing.
 
It's astounding how little we have had until now.
 
I hope it's the first of countless other books and resources or that the resources that already exist are now culled and collected so that they can be found, used and get into the hands of those that need them.
 
US.
 
ALL OF US!
 
I'm so proud to be a part of this book, a part of theTrigger Points Anthology community too.
 
I'm hopeful that other parents doing the sacred work of parenting and healing (at the same time) find this as the solace I do.
 
Perhaps professionals will be able to offer it to those they work with as well to help remind people how so very NOT ALONE they are despite how little talk there still is openly about the concerns many of us break-the-cycle parents have.
 
I know this sounds like a hard sell from me. I got $20. for my essay and get nothing no matter what the sales. And considering most places pay writers NOTHING that's pretty impressive of these women too to pay contributors.
 
But that's not why they did it - to make money. And yet, I hope they sell millions and get rich because they are giving the world a gift that is so long overdue and needed.
 
And I got to have a small part in that and of that. I get to help others feel less alone, to help others shake off shame like a dog getting out of the tub. And it's an honor and I'm thrilled.
 
I've paid therapists to listen, to honor and to hear. It has cost $25 to $150 each 50-min hour. I regret nothing done for my healing and that helps my parenting. But this is a resource people can own and have and refer to. This lets others survivors get to hear other survivors which doesn't happen in therapy.
 
It's a treasure and a gem.
 
So I just had to share about it here with others so deeply concerned about adverse childhood experiences and their lifelong impact on adults and future generations - both personally and professionally. 
 
It's available next month, right before Thanksgiving and for so many of us that stretch from Thanksgiving through the New Year can be difficult, brutal and emotional. So this is a perfectly time release and gift.
 
P.S. PLEASE SHARE ANY RESOURCES FOR CHILDHOOD ABUSE SURVIVORS AS PARENTS IF YOU KNOW OF ANY SO I CAN PASS THEM ALONG. 

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Dear Brenda:
 
Here's the website and the book is not yet on Amazon. Sorry for that. http://triggerpointsanthology.com/ This has more about the book and the Facebook page. It is not a secret group so please let others know about the book, the group and privately, if you wish, the secret group. So much community and growing and more and more resources. FINALLY. Thank you for your interest and support!!!
Cissy
 
 
Originally Posted by Brenda Yuen:

Cissy,

I tried to look the book up on amazon.com but it's not showing yet.  I also tried to go to the Facebook page, but it came up as "unavailable" -- is this a secret group?  I belong to another adult survivor of child sexual abuse secret group on FB.  I think they would LOVE to know about this book as a resource.  I'm SO GLAD someone took up this topic -- it is SO true, as a survivor and mother, there are times when things going on with my children trigger what happened to me.  I'm observant.  I'm aware.  I'm also reparenting myself through my children (which is so incredibly healing for me).  I want to get my hands on this book, and also promote it to the MANY MANY other CSA survivors I know who are parents.  They need this resource.

 

Thanks so much for doing this.

 

Brenda Gregory Yuen

 

 

How exciting that you are thinking of becoming a foster parent. WONDERFUL!!! Can't wait to hear more.
Circle of security is awesome!!! Recommend!!! Also like Building Piece of Mind Handouts, Dr. Andrew Garner Ohio AAP building mental health awareness. He has an AAP video on how to use the handouts and positive parenting as primary prevention. Let me see if I can find the link. And congrats Cis. I'm thinking of taking in teen foster kids cause I was, will probably ask for advice at some point...

Now off to find video link!

 

Thanks Mem,
I'm a tiny contributor but it's an important work. I would have loved it even more when my daughter was little but it's good that it exists now too. Things are changing at least some!!!
Cissy
 
Originally Posted by Mem Lang:

Was so celebratory, didn't see the part that said you'd contributed.  Even better! Well done!

 

Circle of security is awesome!!! Recommend!!! Also like Building Piece of Mind Handouts, Dr. Andrew Garner Ohio AAP building mental health awareness. He has an AAP video on how to use the handouts and positive parenting as primary prevention. Let me see if I can find the link. And congrats Cis. I'm thinking of taking in teen foster kids cause I was, will probably ask for advice at some point...

Now off to find video link!

This is fabulous news!  Aah, some more momentum.  Thank you for sharing, Cissy.  

As a parent I know this book could help so many. A tad envious I didn't have such a resource about this very topic when I was a new parent!  But it's such a good sign of things to come.
A topic which at last is getting the right kind of recognition in an expanded form of reading material ie a book.

Yes, yes and yes!!

Cissy,

I tried to look the book up on amazon.com but it's not showing yet.  I also tried to go to the Facebook page, but it came up as "unavailable" -- is this a secret group?  I belong to another adult survivor of child sexual abuse secret group on FB.  I think they would LOVE to know about this book as a resource.  I'm SO GLAD someone took up this topic -- it is SO true, as a survivor and mother, there are times when things going on with my children trigger what happened to me.  I'm observant.  I'm aware.  I'm also reparenting myself through my children (which is so incredibly healing for me).  I want to get my hands on this book, and also promote it to the MANY MANY other CSA survivors I know who are parents.  They need this resource.

 

Thanks so much for doing this.

 

Brenda Gregory Yuen

 

Dear Kim:
The Circle of Security classes sound great. Can I share that resource?
 
Your grant work sounds interesting.
 
I think, there are so many of us who are not considered high risk, but are and that often we are missed completely.
 
I've written about it before. I knew what NOT to do but that didn't mean I knew what TO DO instead. And it wasn't as though anyone every asked if I needed support or just basic information when I went to my own doctor visits or to my daughter's pediatrician appointments. Luckily, for me, I chose to adopt and because of that I immersed myself in attachment research and realized, "OH NO - this applies to me!"
 
Although I had been in therapy for PTSD back then there was no talking about attachment except in the adoption community. It was instrumental to my mothering as well as my own healing.
 
Ironically, in college (I was first in my family to go) I worked at a shelter for homeless families.
 
I was asked to "model parenting" for the families in the shelter. The assumption was me as a college student would be better at parenting than actual parents who were poor. This bias of middle class meaning healthy is dangerous. I hope it's not like that anymore.
 
Anyhow, I was like, "But I'm not a parent." I did not get into what my parents were like and how I was sure they did not wan tme to model what I knew.

I think just exposing ALL people to good parenting, like not pulling kids with special needs out of a class, but teaching to all also goes for parents.
 
Why not make break-the-cycle parenting part of childbirth planning? Part of something a pediatrician talks about. There is so much opportunity that gets missed.
 
Many of us have never identified ourselves as survivors in a medical setting or have done with in the most cursory way. Now that I'm pushing 50 I'm willing to be open and to help challenge the way things are done but I would have never done so in my 20's or 30's and would have been afraid that speaking of my insecurities or vulnerabilities about parenting meant I was a bad parent.
 
Anyhow, I love the idea of supporting ALL parents more, sharing tools, resources and hope. Thank you for the comment and resource. I'll pass it on to Trigger Points editors which I'm assuming is o.k?
Cissy
 
Originally Posted by Kim Ander:

Finally.  Thank you, as always Cissy.  Your insight is always so beautifully put.  As we all know, this is a resource which is long overdue. Parenting is where it all begins.

 

I am working on a grant project to try to "stop the cycle" by working with "high risk" parents in a clinic setting starting at their newborn checkup and focusing on the positive parent (caregiver)/child interactions that happen during the visit.  We also work to increase awareness of their child's (and their own!) development and social-emotional needs in context of behavior and how parents are feeling about their behavior.  We also work with clinic staff to become more trauma-informed to decrease the blame and shame that parents often feel when their child is showing behavior that is difficult.

 

 In addition, we offer Circle of Security parenting groups in collaboration with our local YMCA.  Circle of Security helps parents to recognize that "uh-oh feeling" (which they call "shark music", appropriately) and how they were parented affects the way that they are able to parent.  I believe that Circle of Security be offered as readily as childbirth class to any expecting parents. I would highly suggest taking the classes, or becoming a trainer and teaching the series if you work with parents in any capacity. It is simply presented but oh so powerful. 

 http://circleofsecurity.net/

Thanks again for the resource, I will be sure to pass it on.

 

 

Finally.  Thank you, as always Cissy.  Your insight is always so beautifully put.  As we all know, this is a resource which is long overdue. Parenting is where it all begins.

 

I am working on a grant project to try to "stop the cycle" by working with "high risk" parents in a clinic setting starting at their newborn checkup and focusing on the positive parent (caregiver)/child interactions that happen during the visit.  We also work to increase awareness of their child's (and their own!) development and social-emotional needs in context of behavior and how parents are feeling about their behavior.  We also work with clinic staff to become more trauma-informed to decrease the blame and shame that parents often feel when their child is showing behavior that is difficult.

 

 In addition, we offer Circle of Security parenting groups in collaboration with our local YMCA.  Circle of Security helps parents to recognize that "uh-oh feeling" (which they call "shark music", appropriately) and how they were parented affects the way that they are able to parent.  I believe that Circle of Security be offered as readily as childbirth class to any expecting parents. I would highly suggest taking the classes, or becoming a trainer and teaching the series if you work with parents in any capacity. It is simply presented but oh so powerful. 

 http://circleofsecurity.net/

Thanks again for the resource, I will be sure to pass it on.

 

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