What is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?

I am more of a You Tuber then a patient, I also take University Classes on line, I will not be learning or earning a degree but whatever is interesting that I don't know much about, I am using this time to learn it, practice it and incorporate it into my life.  There is not really anyone I can talk to about my interests, if I do share them with my family, there is not a 2 way street about the info I found or hope to find, and that has always been the case since I was a child. 

I was coming out of a few bad months of Covid last year, it seems that I had a suitcase of Long Hauler symptoms that just would not go away, and went to the internet to try to find some help for myself.  Our doctors here did not want us to come in if we did not have to, almost everyone remembers this set of circumstances.  I seemed to be stuck in a pattern of No Hope, No Renewal, and got ahold of TalkSpace online Therapy, and I had a Doctor who told me I would possibly really benefit from starting PTSD treatment, or I could talk with a Therapist at TalkSpace for a fee.  My medicare will not cover TalkSpace or any online therapy, and I can understand that, so I set out trying to find out all I could about PTSD and the cure for it.  Well once you open up that Door to the Past and to Trauma, not too much is going to ever be the same.  I am starting a 6 day intensive with Lama b. Allen Wallace where we are going to learn about the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism.  I know a little about the 4 Noble Truths, but he is going to go deep into how the mind works .  And I am just enough of Science Girl that this is really exciting for me to learn.

When I first had the Trauma happen, we did not even have a sufficient amount of help to choose from in the Private Sector.  I was told as a child that I would probably suffer from Shell Shock the rest of my life, and I did go to a couple of therapists in my town, but it just seemed easier to pretend it had never happened then to continue treatment.  I am here now, in the midst of facing my self and my pain, I don't know alot about Actual PTSD, but am learning every day what I need to keep moving forward.  Thank you all for taking a minute and reading this .

Mary Martell