From the outside, it seems puzzling that any person could develop an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating. When we see someone starving themselves or eating themselves into obesity, the temptation is to criticize or correct them: “Just stop it! Can’t you see you’re hurting yourself?”
But criticism or judgment is the last thing a person with an eating disorder needs. If we want to help people suffering to recover, the best, strongest healing forces we can bring are support, understanding and compassion. Each of us can do something to learn more about what is going on for people with eating disorders, and to help the people we care about.
Why Do Eating Disorders Develop?
While eating disorders—like addictions and self-harming behaviors—can have other causes, they are very often about self-regulation of emotion. Men and women of all ages can and do develop them.
People use, abuse or restrict food, or turn to substance abuse or self-harming behavior to cope with intolerable or overwhelming feelings and thoughts.
Imagine a piece of paper folded horizontally in thirds. The middle section represents a window where emotions and thoughts feel tolerable and make sense to us, where we can think and feel at the same time. Our reactions can adapt to a situation. This is the window of tolerance.
The top section represents a heightened state of almost pure feeling, including panic, impulsivity, racing thoughts, anger, and a feeling of lack of safety – all of which feels overwhelming. Therapists call this hyperarousal.
The section below the middle part represents a flat, dull, numb state called hypoarousal. It includes times of no energy, the inability to think, feelings of disconnection and being shut down and can include shame and the inability to say no.
When emotions rise or fall outside the window of tolerance, it is extremely hard to live and behave in healthy ways, or to have a sense of well-being. When emotions are too intense, or too suppressed, a person needs a solution to bring them back into a level they can live with. This is especially true for trauma survivors, as their nervous systems are constantly prepared for danger as a protective mechanism from past hurts and pains.
» Read more about: Why People with Eating Disorders Need Our Compassion »
Comments (3)