Tagged With "parents"
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When Acknowledgeing Our Family's Failures Is Not Betrayal.
As a child to Caribbean parents, growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, it was rare to see families which did not raise their children with physical and verbal abuse on a regular basis. The conversations we children engaged in with our "best friends" often revealed the dark secrets lurking behind the facades of our picture-perfect family lives. Even in the seeming "best" families, the children faced private, if not public shaming. Some lived in fear of parental outbursts to their childish...
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How Caribbean Parents Can Hurt Their Children
Growing up in the Caribbean (Trinidad and Tobago) in the 1970s - before the age of enlightened parenting - meant that I was raised in a strict culture. Whenever there was an infraction by us children, there would be verbal and often physical "retribution". This culture did not only exist in the immediate home but also extended to our visits to our grandparents. (It was easy to understand where my mother had received her parenting style when I witnessed my grandmother disciplining me and my...
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Is Parenting Post-Covid A Catch-22?
Harvard Business Review published an article 3 years ago examining how parents' careers impact their children's development. Post-2020 - when many parents were forced to work from home and homeschool their offspring while trying to be productive and attend innumerable Zoom meetings - one wonders what the authors would think of the way forward. The truth remains that quality time for our children is indispensable to their healthy upbringing. Yet 2020 also brought financial difficulty to many...
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Parents, Choose How You Will Respond
Good morning everyone. Last month was Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month in several countries. With all the webinars, symposia and other informational sessions, one message came across loud and clear: The days of ignorance need to remain behind us as we seek to undo the trauma of harmful parenting practices. Some Caribbean parents used to adopt the perspective that "no mistake will go unpunished". Their children would literally tremble if they made a mess or did anything which might...
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Repair, Don't Repeat.
Friday is here again! Who's excited for the weekend? This weekend may be triggering for some people as most of the world observes Mother's Day. If you have been a victim of child abuse or rejection or neglect by a parent, please seek to get support to undo the harm. Hurt like that may be a catalyst for you to repeat what happened to you as you engage in marriage, parenting or other relationships. May you be compassionate and loving toward yourself as you journey towards healing. Have a great...
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Intergenerational transmission and prevention of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) [Science Direct]
Hi everybody. It's Friday and we want to share some ACEs research wirh you that you can digest over the weekend. 📖 This is a heads-up on a recently published study from the USA on intergenerational trauma and ACEs and how it is transmitted and can be prevented. Angela J. Narayan, Ph.D., L.P. and her colleagues published it in April 2021. Here is an excerpt from the abstract. "In recent years, research and practice on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have shifted from delineating effects...
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Immature Brains Cannot Regulate Themselves Alone.
Kudos to Gerry Diamond who shared this image on Twitter. His handle is @gerrydiamond71 As Gerry put it, this challenge of regulation also is seen in young people who have unaddressed ACEs and Trauma. They often present with arrested emotional development. Parents and caregivers, including teachers, may need to remember that the young minds in their care are not yet equipped to make the mature choices or decisions the adults hope they will make. Being mindful of the fact that emotional...
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Mental Health and School Reopening for the Caribbean
Good Monday morning everyone. We hope the weekend was refreshing. So across the world there continue to be diverse reports on the way countries are coping with Covid-19. In the Caribbean, there has been a sense of relief after the USA indicated that it will donate millions of doses of Covid-19 vaccines to the region and Latin America. As a consequence, there have been hopeful statements that schools may reopen in September 2021, after having been shuttered since February and March 2020 in...
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Promoting positive parenting for families in poverty: New directions for improved reach and engagement
Good Friday morning everyone. How was your week? I am sure we are all looking forward to the weekend. As we set things up for this week's "Food For Thought Friday", we want to examine an area which was excluded from the original ACE study of 1998 - that is, the consideration of poverty. It has been an area of criticism of the original study especially where researchers desiring to replicate it want to address the needs of persons living in cramped urban conditions. There is a 2017 study done...
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Happy Father's Day!
Its the 3rd Sunday of June and its Father's Day! Happy Father's Day to all "dads"! Around the world, fathers and father figures (hopefully) are being celebrated for their hard work, love, care and support given to the family, especially throughout the past year of the global ACE known as Covid19. On that topic, we wish to extend very special greetings to all NEW fathers whose babies have been born into this new normal. So if you did not read our previous post, we were trying to spare the...
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[REPOST] Amazing Infographic on ACEs, Spanking, and the Benefits of Positive Parenting
Putting the pieces together! Join an upstream approach to ending violence against children! This is an ACEs & Spanking INFOGRAPHIC that helps parents understand the connection between ACEs and the importance of not spanking and instead, using positive parenting techniques. For a free webinar series to support parents: https://stopspanking.org More information on ACEs, Spanking, and Positive Parenting: https://stopspanking.org/aces/
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Back to School Readiness for Caribbean Children
Good Monday morning everyone. As we are passing the half way mark for the month of August, traditionally, children would be getting restless as their return to school would be a fortnight away. In many of our Caribbean and CARICOM jurisdictions 2020 and perhaps 2021 will be remembered as periods of great diversity. While some territories barely interrupted the education cycle during their relatively moderate Covid-19 fight, others with more alarming infection and death rates closed schools...
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There are no perfect parents!
"Parenting is a learned skill, but society says as parents we can only talk about the good things that happen while parenting. It judges parents based on the child’s behavior, clothing and their school attendance. Children are judged by their parent’s behavior, clothing and choices. There is no shortage of blame, shame and judgment to go around. So what happens when a parent has a high ACE score and they want to truly prevent their children from having the same? What happens when they want...
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FREE Event - Parenting from an Attachment or Trauma Perspective
Hi everyone, We trust you are enjoying the weekend. If you're in the USA and Canada, it's a long weekend so please be safe as you enjoy time with your family. Dr. Bessel van der Look announced the following on his Facebook Page for The Body Keeps the Score:- "New Free Monthly Event! Inspired Parenting- Parenting from an Attachment/Trauma Perspective with Dafna Lender. Register at the link below:...
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Talking to Children About The Invasion of Ukraine
Hello everyone, we trust that everyone is taking good care of your physical, spiritual, mental and social health. The invasion of Ukraine by Russia has garnered international attention and children, as well as adults, are seeing images of what is happening in Eastern Europe. The same holds true for us who live in the Caribbean. Parents, caregivers and teachers may feel challenged to adequately and sensitively express to children what is happening. After all, they have been impacted by...
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NEW Parenting with PACEs resources!
We know how hard Parenting with PACEs can be. We at PACEs Connection want to support you in your parenting journey, and we’re excited to share that we have lots of resources to help you. Check out our NEW Parenting with PACEs resource list , which includes: Books for Parents Handouts for Parents Resources for Children Videos, Documentaries, and Podcasts for Parents Websites, Toolkits, Classes, and Articles for Parents You can also find these Parenting with PACEs resources in our new PACEs...
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Being Emotionally Intelligent as Parents - Trinidad Guardian article
Hi everyone! As we come to the end of the first half of 2022 and the COVID impact appears to be waning in some Caribbean countries, the focus shifts to the need for parents to build personal capacity in order to support their children through the most traumatic period of their young lives. The article linked to below speaks to the need for parents to cultivate emotional intelligence as lockdowns cease and children navigate the return to in-person learning and interaction with their peers.
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Rewiring Shame from Adverse Childhood Experiences (Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D. Psychology Today)
Hi everyone! We hope you are having a great Wellness Wednesday. Today we would like to share an article from Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D. which was published in Psychology Today. It relates to how we can rewire shame from childhood that persists into adulthood. Excerpt - "Even after disturbing memories from childhood have been reworked, lingering remnants of shame can disrupt one’s peace and sense of wholeness in adulthood." Dr. Schiraldi proposes practical ways to rework shame from caregivers...
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10 Tips for Sexual Abuse Prevention
When we consider the high numbers of children that are sexually abused it is disappointing how little is out there to support parents in prevention efforts. Although Erin’s Law has brought Sexual Abuse Prevention to many children in the school setting, parents are still often at a loss as to how to talk to their children about this difficult topic. As a therapist who has specialized in treating child sexual abuse for twenty years, I have crossed paths with thousands of children and families...