Here's a link to the policy report put out earlier this year by the Annie E. Casey Foundation. Here's a summary of what's in it in case you want to explore it more.
More than 5 million U.S. children have had a parent in jail or prison at some point in their lives. The incarceration of a parent can have as much impact on a child’s well-being as abuse or domestic violence. But while states spend heavily on corrections, few resources exist to support those left behind. A Shared Sentence offers commonsense proposals to address the increased poverty and stress that children of incarcerated parents experience.
Commentary:
When I fill out the ACE test I always stop when I get to the question about jail. I answer "no" when the answer is "don't know" or if I think it doesn't apply. I figure even if he was in prison it was during a time I don't remember.
There was some talk that he had gone to Vietnam to avoid prison. I don't know if that was true or not. I still don't know.
I didn't know my Dad. I knew about him. I knew he was homeless, alcoholic, violent, poor, had bad eyesight (like me).
I knew he'd been to Vietnam. For me, this is all covered under abandonment to me because that was the way I felt this ACE, as a loss.
I was always told I was better off without him in my life. This may have always been factually true but it never true, good or helpful to me as a kid. I didn't experience it as a blessing or something I was actually grateful for. Being told I was better off without him made me know that I shouldn't speak of how I worried about him, how I missed him and how I ached to know if he ever thought about us.
When I was older and told of how violent he was, how he treated my mother and us when he was drunk, I could better understand why "better off without him" was said. But the why I was better off was not shared as a kid so it didn't make any sense to me.
Now I know his absence meant we were safer, at least from him. Safer from the type of harm he could be. But to kid me, it wasn't a feel good kind of safe. It felt like loss. It felt like longing. It felt like having broken glasses that were taped on my face. It felt like there was no way to hide the brokenness that was my family. I knew I was visibly different and needy in a way not everyone was.
What would it be like to have a parent in jail, as a kid, growing up, as a partner, raising kids or as an adult who is a parent and has kids? Lots of people can answer yes to this ACE question.
If you know of other research or resources or have personal or professional experience to share, please do. If you know of race and class issues as it pertains to parents in prison and kids with parents who are incarcerated, please share. If you have experience talking or learning about ACEs in jail, please share. And for the policy report, click here.
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