An aggressive child is not uncommon in the modern world.
Unfortunately, for many parents, this is a big misfortune that they face at home when raising their child, as well as in the children's team, when their beloved baby is on the same territory with a child showing aggression.
"Why is aggression dangerous?", "How to help a child with aggressive behavior?" - we will try to answer these and other questions in this article.
Portrait of an aggressive child
It is quite difficult not to notice a child with aggressive behavior. Often this is a pugnacious and rude child who can attack and hit a peer or parent, breaking toys, shouting, or purposefully using rude language.
An aggressive child becomes a big problem for parents, educators, teachers. Such a “difficult” child is very difficult to accept, and even more difficult to understand what is the reason for this behavior.
Aggressive behavior of children is a “cry for help” and a peculiar method of attracting attention. Such a child “signals” that he needs love and affection, understanding and acceptance. With the help of aggression, he makes it clear that he is experiencing inner discomfort, that he feels rejected and forgotten.
Parental indifference and cruelty can lead to problems in parent-child relationships, the result of which is the child's confidence that he is not loved. To change the current situation and "earn" the love of their parents, children try to attract their attention in any way, including aggressive behavior. If a child feels that he is vulnerable, if he is not sure of himself, if he cannot join the children's team and feel like “his own” there, then aggression from such a child will not take long.
Such children most often cannot assess their aggressiveness, they do not notice that this form of behavior leads to some kind of negative consequences. They are anxious, fearful, it seems to them that the whole world is against them.
It is very important that parents and teachers understand the difference between “aggression” and “aggressiveness”:
- Aggression is a "one-time" act of a child that violates moral and ethical standards and can lead to causing moral or physical harm to others.
- Aggressiveness is a form of behavior that becomes "habitual" over time.
Among the types of aggression, the following can be distinguished:
Verbal aggression
This type of aggression manifests itself in the verbal form: an increased tone of the conversation, turning into a shout, insults, and humiliation, even threats are possible.
Physical aggression
This type of aggression manifests itself in a specific physical impact in relation to a person or causing damage to someone else's property: bites, beatings, damage to various things, equipment, etc.
Direct aggression
A type of aggression that is directed at a specific object.
Indirect aggression
With the help of this type of aggression, the child can gossip, use malicious jokes, and provoke.
Auto aggression
This is the kind of aggression that the child uses against himself. It manifests itself in pulling out hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, biting nails, and frequent trauma.
What should parents pay attention to in their child's behavior:
- the child cannot control his words, actions, emotions, behavior in general. In rare cases, he may try to take control of his behavior, but nothing comes of it;
- the child often quarrels with peers and adults, deliberately enters into disputes with them, and sorts out the relationship;
- breaks toys, destroys buildings made by others; loves to spoil the things of others and at the same time gets a clear pleasure;
- does not respond to requests, instructions and violates the established rules;
- deliberately commits "bad" deeds in order to provoke a negative reaction;
- remembers the offense and the offender, often wants to take revenge on the offender;
- he cannot admit his mistakes, he always tries to justify himself or blame the other.
Disobedience is characteristic of children, especially those of preschool age. If there is a serious reason for this (unfair punishment, resentment), then the child's anger and aggression are fully justified, and in such cases, it is considered an absolutely normal child's reaction.
Parents should only take action if they notice at least a few of the above signs in their child on a regular basis.
The parent needs to know some truths that will help him in the fight against the child's aggression:
Exit, not suppression
It is always important to give vent to emotions without "squeezing" or "suppressing" them.
This must be learned by the parents themselves, and only then taught by their children. If you are angry, then don't be afraid to tell your child about it. This is normal. Thus, you speak out the problem, and it becomes easier for you. At the same time, you show the child that he can do this too - talk about what he does not like, that he is angry or upset about something. Gradually, the child will master this "maneuver" and understand that it is much easier to talk about the problem than to try to attract attention with his terrible behavior.
Correct example
It is important that your words are not at odds with your actions. Be aware of this. Do not demand from the child what you cannot do yourself.
If you want your child to ecologically express their emotions, pay attention to how his environment does it, and above all, you are the parents.
If you have difficulty expressing your aggression and you cannot “accept” the aggressive behavior of your child, then it may be worth contacting a psychologist.
Aggression is imminent
If the "attack" of aggression has already begun, the child is screaming, trying to hit, then the best option is a strong hug. When he calms down, you can say that you are ready to listen to him whenever he feels bad. It is better to talk with a child at such moments without strangers and without emotionally charged words and expressions.
Methods for correcting aggressive behavior
All parents who are faced with the aggressive behavior of a child are interested in the question: "How to properly approach the correction of such behavior?"
It should be noted: in order to see a stable result of the work, it is necessary that the correction is not episodic, but constant and complex.
The most popular methods of correcting aggressive behavior, especially at preschool age, include art therapy in all its diversity:
- you can use various methods of drawing: drawing with fingers, palms, feet;
- sand therapy;
- clay therapy;
- puppet therapy (you can purchase or sew dolls for a puppet or finger theater yourself, make paper figures for a tabletop theater);
- fairy tale therapy (the composition of fairy tales by the child himself and for the child. It is important to offer the child a role with a positive power characteristic, for example, knights, heroes, etc.);
- dance therapy, etc.
Attention should be paid to outdoor games that help relieve stress and neutralize aggression; games for the development of the child's communication and a positive model of behavior, games for the development of empathy and relaxation orientation.
Most parents at different age stages, sooner or later, are faced with the aggressive behavior of the child. And the main thing that they should remember at such moments is that this problem can and should be solved only through love, affection, and respect for your child.
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