Earlier this summer Kim Ander shared insights about two programs geared towards parents with high ACE scores. They are Promoting First Relationships and Circle of Security. With her permission I've combined her comments in one post.
If you want to weigh in on Circle of Security or Promoting First Relationships, please do. If you know of other parenting programs using ACEs or supporting parents parenting with ACEs, please share those too. At Parenting with ACEs, we're particularly interested in programs which include ACEs science and are peer led or co-led.
"I am finishing up a grant project in an impoverished "high ACE" community doing exactly this. We have incorporated several interventions, but one that I like most, is Circle of Security.
You can watch a couple of videos on their website to get an idea. It is strengths-based (the message is that we don't have to be perfect as parents, just "good enough") and gets into what they call "shark music" - that subconscious thing that happens when you are triggered by something in your past, even when you don't realize it. It helps us to recognize what we are feeling in those moments and to stop and reflect before we react. By the end of the sessions, parents have a better understanding of their children's behaviors and what they mean. They feel more confident about "being with" their child (and themselves) when they are having strong emotions, rather than trying to distract or order feelings away. As a bonus, the "bad behavior" that their children might have been exhibiting goes away.
I had a parent tell me that "Every parent should take this class, like childbirth class!" I couldn't agree more, the world would be a kinder and gentler place.
Another thing I really like about COS is its accessibility. Not all parents are able or willing to go to therapy, and the therapy options covered by Medicaid in the community where I work with are less than ideal. COS helps parents connect to their emotions without having to commit to years of therapy, although sometimes things come up for them and we refer them to therapy. It's also for parents of children of any age - birth to teen, and helps people better understand other relationships in their lives as well: partners, supervisors, etc.
Our project has also utilized Promoting First Relationships - this is what Nurse Family Partnership uses, at least in Washington state. PFR has been adapted from home visiting and childcare-based (Head Start uses it) to being used in a pediatric medical setting during well child checks. Since most caregivers take their children to well checks 10 times in the first 3 years, pediatric practitioners are in a terrific place to help parents/caregivers learn about the importance of their child's emotional heath as they grow. We focused at each well child check on brain development and how our relationship with our baby/child affects their brain as it grows...
Comments (1)