O.k. this event is happening next week in Boston. Doesn't it look great? I can't wait. But even if you can't make the event, can you share what this topic means or brings up for you?
I'd love to have some conversation around that topic.
I'll start.
Discipline is hard for me. I don't like the word. I associate it with firm, strict, mean, and abusive. I get that firm and abusive are not the same when I'm feeling rational but when emotional, firm and abusive can feel really close to the same thing.
That said, I rely on self-discipline all of the time and don't worry that it's extreme, mean or abusive.
Why?
It's relationships and power differences. Parents have so much power over kids, especially our own kids and especially when they are super young. It's terrifying.
And discipline is not super easy or straightforward anyhow. It's not like we agree as a culture on what makes for great and effective discipline for kids at 3 or 9 or 16. Friends, couples and families can disagree as well and often we do ... vigorously.
Many of us have really different views, feelings, practices and approaches. And many of us have different experiences past and present too. Sometimes we debate with others about what discipline should mean and sometimes we're in debate with ourselves.
I am and my kid is 15.
I am looking forward to this event and learning with and from others.
I love a flyer that asks a question because that means there's room for more than one answer. That means there's lots of room for open-ended questions.
Whew.
Parents and professionals (and we will be there wearing all hats) can participate. I'm glad it's a place for differences of opinion and discussion rather than the "5 steps to discipline" lecture. For me, those aren't as interesting unless they get at how and why people struggle despite what we know, intend or have already learned.
Anyhow, if you're local to Boston, please feel free to show or share with others. If you are far away and wish you could be there, maybe you'll write a blog post or comment.
What do you think of when the topic is discipline and when you think about your parenting or the way you were parented?
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