I found a great series of parenting videos today. While they are geared towards helping foster parents communicate, build trust and handle challenging situations - the videos are great for all parents. The advice is kind, wise and sound - especially for those of us Parenting with ACEs.
It’s nice to hear about parenting and traumatic stress in relation to working through real-life conflicts and situations. The videos are accessible and show how body language, shaming or the facial expressions parents often use cause kids to shut down or get defensive, especially if there's a trauma history.
While it doesn't address the ACEs parents may also have, it's pretty easy to extrapolate how that would complicate parent/child dynamics even more. And, it shows how in the absence of safety issues, it's waiting until both parent/s and kid/s are calm is generally wise.
I don’t always agree with the parenting advice she gives as we’re all different in values and styles. But it shows the mistakes kids and parents make and does so without shaming either. It's helpful, hopeful and humanizing. We can all learn and watch what works and what doesn't and consider new possible parenting techniques.
While it didn't talk ACEs science or research on developmental trauma specifically, the videos I watched seemed sensitive and ACEs/trauma-informed in content and approach. There are suggestions and approaches for what might work better or be considered next time there's a challenging conversation or issue.
Unlike many parent education tools which focus on parents and children in the early years, these focus on building bonds with tweens and teens.I especially like the tone and vibe. Maybe, that's because the woman leading the series, Rhonda Sciortino, was in foster care herself. She does advocacy work and writes about survivors.She comes across as warm, credible and respectful to kids and parents. Plus, her optimism is grounded in experience so that helps make it believable.
Here's the link to to the videos - and short downloads (also great).
Questions for You
- Would you use these in your parenting or work? Why? Why not?
- Do you think anything is especially great or needs addressing or challenging?
- Would you share these videos with teens?
Let me know your thoughts and if you know of other useful videos or downloads others can use (and I can add to our resource section).
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