Oct. 15, 2020
Tips for creating safe spaces and developing emotional intelligence in your children.
“Did you learn your lesson?” my mother asked.
Those five words have been etched in my mind since I was a teenager. I was a good kid but, between boys and shenanigans with my friends, I was always pushing the boundaries. This time, I had received a speeding ticket for rushing to get home before my curfew. When I told her what had happened, my mother approached me with arms crossed, her tone one of serious concern, but not anger. I received no actual punishment, but I did have to take responsibility for my actions and pay the ticket with my own money.
Growing up, I always found my mother to be a safe space for me.
Now that I’m a mother, I’ve worked to create those spaces for my daughter. The communication that starts with parents and children is one of the most influential and persuasive ways children can learn to socialize throughout their lives, research shows.
Taylor Quick, a licensed child therapist for Zola Counseling, a private practice in Charlotte, N.C., defines safe spaces as the relationship that a child has to her parent or caregiver to feel understood and heard. In her work with children between the ages of 2 and 12, Quick said she has observed that children feel more empowered “after their feelings have been validated.”
How do we create safe spaces to allow our children to manage their emotions and talk openly?
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