The kind of father you become can be heavily influenced notions you don’t even know you have the day your child is born. For better or worse, it’s impossible to enter life as a parent unaffected by the framework and culture of your upbringing. It’s your starting point.
I was exposed as a young boy to many different models of fatherhood from various sources on TV, at the movies, in my family, and around the neighborhood: the quiet, aloof dad who comes home from work and is left alone to sit in his chair (hey, he worked hard all day) while Mom cooks dinner; the docile dad who leaves all the big decisions to his wife, “the boss”; the all-powerful patriarch who rules the roost without opposition; the Great Santini-style marine sergeant who is always ready to knock some sense into his young charge.
But I knew I wanted more. Most Dads do.
I wanted always to be able to talk to my children, to maintain an active and open channel of communication. I wanted them to know I could see what they were doing and who they were becoming. I wanted them to know that, in good or difficult times, we would always be able to talk.
I also wanted my children to know and feel, without any doubt, that I loved them unconditionally — that no matter who they became, what they did, where they went… that I just loved them. I wanted this love to give them the freedom to be whoever they wanted to be.
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