To read more of Julie Tozier's article, please click here, My kids are grown. But here’s what I’d do differently after reading ‘The Anxious Generation’ by Jonathan Haidt.
As a parent whose kids are a bit beyond the grade-school years, I’ve had plenty of time to think about the choices I made when they were little. And let me tell you, hindsight is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it gives you a clearer view of what you could’ve done better. On the other hand, it’s a bit like watching a replay of a game where you made some cringe-worthy moves—only there’s no referee to call a timeout. Diving into The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, which is currently making waves on the New York Times best-seller list, stirred up some of these reflections, and while I can’t rewind the clock, I’m still trying to make adjustments—even now that my kids are adults and (mostly) out of the house.
Taking Haidt’s lessons to heart, here’s what I’d do differently if I had the chance, and how I’m trying to apply the book’s main tenets today. It’s still a work in progress, but hey, isn’t that parenting in a nutshell?
1. Encouraging independence (a little sooner than I did)
If I’m being honest, letting go was never my strong suit. I was that mom who hovered, swooped in to fix problems, and generally tried to shield my kids from any bumps in the road. I thought I was helping, but now I see that I might’ve been holding them back from figuring things out on their own.
If I could do it over, I’d start encouraging independence a little sooner—like letting them make their own mistakes and learn from them, rather than me stepping in every time. These days, with my kids all grown up, I’m working on stepping back even more. It’s not easy—old habits die hard—but I’m learning to trust that they can handle life’s challenges without me micromanaging (too much). And I’m discovering that it’s actually pretty amazing to see them navigate their own paths, even if I have to bite my tongue every now and then.
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