This month marks my tenths wedding anniversary. My ACE score is five. I have four children who are 8, 7, 5 and 1.5 years old. Raising them up with minimum impact of abuse is my greatest challenge . Part of this challenge comes from having serious financial problems as ACE study charts predicted but the toughest part is that my wive's behavior as a victim of child abuse is my weakest point to handle . whenever my wife shouts or curs or beat them,I feel like I was hit by a car. She lives in denial of her parents abuse and I am not able to know how high her ACE score could be because she only explains the rosy part of her childhood all the time. I feel handicapped very often and I have faith that our love will overrule our both history of abuse. I cut my relationship with my abusive parents years ago which helped me to end confusion of their role in my life and allowed me to create a space that eventuality advanced my progress in breaking abuse cycle coming from my history towards my children. It took me three years of planning and around two years of implementing to achieve a real isolation from their network. I had a gut feeling for twenty four years about my need to move away from them but I kept giving them excuses to deny what was obvious to see but extremely hard to accept. Now, I reached a level of confidence that I saved myself a lot of energy I used to waste by having a relationship with them and gradually I dedicated most of it to bring up my kids in a much safer environment. I published a short story and wrote three more to raise awareness about impact of child abuse, I translated ACE study charts to my local language (Which is Arabic) and conducted workshops and presentations to my local community to speed up my recovery. I am looking forward to see the day when my beloved wife stop denial of her own abuse. Together, we would make a wonderful team.
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