PTSD in Love (www.healwritenow.com)

Christine Cissy White 7/3/173:05 PM

I went to the fireworks the other night. I was thinking about how fireworks can be hard for veterans and how it's good people know and respect that. Relationships are my fireworks. Relationships are where it's hard for me to stay present without being sent in to sensory overload.

ACEs and interpersonal violence can be so messy and complex. It's hard to find language and even when we have words there aren't always ways to prevent all triggers. Relationships offer the space and place for the most healing. And also, relationships can be the most terrifying places of all. There's no way to trigger proof life. As my daughter ages she learns from what she watches and sees in me and how I relate with others as well as how relate to and with her.

Below is an excerpt from my personal blog. It's about a time my partner and I both got our buttons pushed. It's about what PTSD in love can mean. It's about finding more patience, tools and perspective since neither one of us can change our history. It's not always as quick as I'd like and sometimes I'm sad that my daughter doesn't have a mother who knew more from the start. But, I'm learning to have more compassion for myself, my partner and the process.

I'm learning to love learning about love - as messy and wonderful as it can be.

We are dangerous, sharp, messy and impossible to move towards.

I want to turn back to paper cuts wounds that annoy and splinter. They can be removed and soothed. But we are past that now. We are cautious, surprised, guilty and ashamed.

I don’t know how to fight for myself and be in love. Sometimes it feels like a choice as though we are flags at the end of ropes on opposite teams being pulled.

Only one of us will get to be the winner and I will end up face first in the dirt. That’s how my fear thinks. To read more...

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Lisa FrederiksenMember

I haven't read something this powerful in a long, long time, Cissy. There is sooooo much here that resonates for me. Thank you for putting this to words.

7/3/176:35 PM

Christine Cissy WhiteIt's not trauma-informed unless it's informed by trauma survivors.

Rick: You are so wonderfully responsive to everyone here - me included. Thank you.

That trust thing is such work! I too find a sense of strength and wholeness even from spirituality, Buddhism in particular even though I'm not a Buddhist. I like learning about lots of different teachings. Thanks for sharing that Marianne Williamson is one of yours.

Here's to continued learning for all of us
Cissy

7/3/174:44 PM

Rick Herranz Sr.Member

Hello Christine

Thanks for your feeling safe enough to Trust us with that part of you that we are ALL FAMILIAR WITH...... I am learning how hard it is for me to TRUST people and let them into my life. This is all I know.. and I am in the solution now or as one of my SPIRITUAL HEROS is a woman by the name of Marianne Williamson she speak of Getting "Into the realm of the solution" which means getting into "The realm of spirit" so we can find HELP...HOPE.....Healing that no therapist can reach...But the DIVINE THERAPIST can reach.

Rick

7/3/173:16 PM

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