I'm one of those people who reads multiple books at a time, at least when it comes to non-fiction. I grab a book from the pile on my desk to help me get through the time on the elliptical machine at the gym. I can't watch the news and exercise at the same time. That's two hard things at once which is one too many.
Anyhow, right now I'm reading this book which just came out. It's geared towards parents, is written by Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell with Christine M. Benton.
The full book title is as follows:
Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting can help your nurture your child's attachment, emotional resilience, and freedom to explore. The introduction is by Daniel J. Siegel.
This book wasn't around when my daughter was young and so I had to dive into attachment parenting theory which wasn't quite as accessible or popular a decade or so ago except in the adoption community. It's great to see how many more authors and books are writing about parents and parenting as essential to and in child-rearing.
The book, so far, doesn't share too many parenting stories or perspectives, yet, but the feelings and experiences of parents are written about. And, I've been underlining things that are still helpful to someone parenting a tween or teen or even an adult. These quotes are from the introduction and the first chapter.
"The underlying message of this book is that we already have what we need to be good parents. As human beings, we come equipped with positive intentions for our songs and daughters and a hardwired drive to form a close and lasting attachment with them."
"Over the last 30 years, the three of us have become increasingly convinced that a secure attachment is the most important foundation we can offer to our children. It's every bit as vital as nutrition, healthcare, and education. In fact, it just might be more potent than any of those necessities,"
And one of my favorites:
"Scientists hailed secure attachment as providing no less than 'psychological immunity' for developing children and the adult they became, but the remarkable clarity of thousands of studies showing the benefit of security remained hidden inside journals without access to parents."
"Feeling secure in the presence of a loving, dependable caregiver is like being offered a second skin that protects during times of stress."
"Trust learned early radiates late."
"Psychoanalysts like Donald Winnicott called the terror of being alone and abandoned when you can't even form words one of the 'primitive agonies.' Imagine a free fall from a trapeze - you reach out for the hands of your fellow acrobat and let go of the bar in time to catch them... and find no one is there. If we are born seeking a self in the context of other people, finding no one there definitely threatens survival.
Let me know if you are also reading this book and what you are learning, thinking about or realizing about your parenting or childhood. I'm looking forward to writing about ACEs which I'm guessing is in here because the authors, so far, are comprehensive in what they share about major influences to developmental psychology. I'll write more as I get deeper in.
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