Tell Me About You

Robin Hornkohl posted:

A piece of my personal journey...

I recall being stunned by how much my own history and past kept rearing its ugly head as parent of  3 children under the age of 1.  I so desperately wanted to be a "great" parent.  I read A LOT of parenting and self-help books and worked hard to put into practice what I learned.  It was so frustrating to not understand why I had to constantly re-frame and fight urges to react in the ways that didn't align with the parent or person that I wanted to be.  Through my work in early childhood, I learned about the ACE's study.  And after calculating my ACE's score a lot of things made sense!  It was still frightening and I knew that I had a lot of self-work to; however, I was relieved!  

I don't know why I am writing in the past tense, these things are still true today as I am now on the cusp of parenting 3 teenagers.  Although, today I understand where and why my intense emotions might be creeping into the picture.  Today, I have skills and tools to understand the why and the how to deal with them. Mindfulness, meditation and self-care have been immensely helpful.  

Robin:

Thank you for this post. I have met so many parents (and I am one as well) that was incredible relieved and frightened by finding out about ACEs. To me, it's a motivating fear not a paralyzing one. 

And it's SO MUCH work to reframe. I so get that. There's effort in shaping behaviors and feelings and impulses. And that's why I think self-care comes in or meditation or all the things that give support for that work. Change can't happen just because we hope or wish for it - though that's a start. 

Please keep sharing here. And it's great to hear about parenting tweens/teens too as well as younger children and our own inner selves.

Cissy

A piece of my personal journey...

I recall being stunned by how much my own history and past kept rearing its ugly head as parent of  3 children under the age of 1.  I so desperately wanted to be a "great" parent.  I read A LOT of parenting and self-help books and worked hard to put into practice what I learned.  It was so frustrating to not understand why I had to constantly re-frame and fight urges to react in the ways that didn't align with the parent or person that I wanted to be.  Through my work in early childhood, I learned about the ACE's study.  And after calculating my ACE's score a lot of things made sense!  It was still frightening and I knew that I had a lot of self-work to; however, I was relieved!  

I don't know why I am writing in the past tense, these things are still true today as I am now on the cusp of parenting 3 teenagers.  Although, today I understand where and why my intense emotions might be creeping into the picture.  Today, I have skills and tools to understand the why and the how to deal with them. Mindfulness, meditation and self-care have been immensely helpful.