I'm sitting on the couch next to my son James. It's Mother's Day, late afternoon, and we are watching a dumb movie on TV procrastinating making dinner and doing homework. It is the happiest I have been all day – hanging out with my son, doing nothing. A lot of my favorite parenting moments are like this. I find a tremendous amount of joy just being with my children, not doing anything special. I appreciate this together time all the more because I know how fleeting it is. My twins are juniors in high school and this is nearly the end of my job as full-time mother. And as sad as I am, I'm also breathing a sigh of relief that I did it. I was able to have an exciting career and be there as a hands-on mother for my twin boys.
I wouldn't have traded being a mother for anything. I always knew I wanted to have children, and I always knew I wanted to be a really involved parent. It certainly wasn't always easy. But I know that what was available to me as a mother isn't there for so many women in America raising children.
Paid leave. When my boys where born I was working at a law firm that gave me over five months off fully paid. This allowed me time both to recover from childbirth and to fully focus on my new babies. Most importantly, it allowed me to nap during the day because I was hardly sleeping at night (twins, remember?) New parents get between 2-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep in those early months if they are lucky, and I can't imagine how anyone is able to be productive at work on so little sleep. Yet only 12 percent of women in the US get paid maternity leave, and if you are in a low-wage job, there's a 95 percent chance you won't have paid leave. America ranks dead last in developed countries in providing leave for new mothers. This doesn't just hurt women, it hurts our economy.
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