For many survivors of childhood abuse, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may re-occur, or never arise, until they become a parent. A significant number of parenting survivors do not recognize the increased depression, anxiety or onset of flashbacks as symptoms of PTSD, weaving in and out their journey to raise a family. Instead, many will internalize debilitating shame and question their ability, and even their right to parent.
According to the National Center for Victims of Crimes, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse. These abused children all have one thing in common – they eventually become adults. Naturally, many of these adults become parents but have never spoken about what happened to them, leaving trauma symptoms to lie dormant, festering, until acts of Parenting 101 expose them to triggers which can send them spiraling. Most struggle silently, alone, and confused. It doesn’t have to be that way. And in fact, it shouldn’t be
With research such as the Adverse Childhood Experiences study (ACEs) beginning to come to the surface, we are learning there is science behind how survivors of childhood abuse experience adulthood and parenting. Prolonged abuse and the toxic stress that follows can distort connections in the brain that associate things correctly, like love and fear. Also, a survivor’s nervous system may develop in an abnormal manner, leaving the survivor with a faulty fight/flight/freeze response.
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