Beautiful and honest essay by Heidi Aylward, the same one featured in this story, except this time - the entire essay is in her own words.
There are times when I don’t think I can feel joy.
There are times that I feel things I don’t want to or know how to deal with.
There are moments when I am so crippled by a bad feeling, that it sweeps my emotional legs from beneath me, and I’m simply stuck in it. Emotionally. Sad, or mad, or hurt and stuck there.
There are days that begin badly and ones that end that way. Sometimes it is out of my control. Sometimes I am the reason.
There are times when I go through the promised motions of a day, willing myself to be present and fun. Reminding myself to smile and use inflection in my voice.
There are never days I don’t handle it.
There are never days that I quit.
There are never days that I don’t get through, but some are better than others.
Not figuring it out isn’t an option.
Without exception, I can find something beautiful in every day. Sometimes I have to look for it. Sometimes it whispers to me.
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