Blog

Across the country, roughly 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year. They are expected to detach from their families and start over with new ones. Their mothers and fathers, stripped of parental rights, are told to let go and move on, unsure of whether they will see their children again. Adoption can be in the best interest of many children, but experience and research show that it’s not the right option for all children. The trauma caused by separation, the tug of war between...

I met Jane in 2013 at a women’s prison in Washington state. She was 6, and while other girls her age may have been camping in the woods with their Girl Scout troops, Jane was camping overnight at the prison where her mother was incarcerated. On the day we met, Jane was participating in Girls Scouts Beyond Bars, a program begun in Baltimore in 1992 as a pilot project between the Girl Scouts and the Institute of Justice. The idea was for girls to have formal visits with their incarcerated...

A S A NEONATAL INTENSIVE CARE NURSE, Lauren Bloomstein had been taking care of other people’s babies for years. Finally, at 33, she was expecting one of her own. The prospect of becoming a mother made her giddy, her husband Larry recalled recently — “the happiest and most alive I’d ever seen her.” When Lauren was 13, her own mother had died of a massive heart attack. Lauren had lived with her older brother for a while, then with a neighbor in Hazlet, New Jersey, who was like a surrogate mom,...

Another beautiful offering from one of our members, @Dawn Daum I worry that my presence and behaviors blindly feed you confusion. How can your mother be so tender at times and yet so distant and cold other times? Why is she ok with snuggling one minute and then the next time you wrap your arms around her, she refuses you and walks away? Your requests for me to just sit with you can be the most challenging moments for me. To sit still and simply embrace unconditional love...

The world has changed in many good ways. All over my newsfeed yesterday and today are posts about aching, loss, grief and divorcing from parents. Mother's Day, Father's Day and other holidays can be hard. At least that loss isn't experienced only in silence now. This year, I've seen many posts more complex than greeting cards. That wasn't always so. I'm not here to tell anyone about how Mother's Day should or might feel and if anger or forgiveness is good or bad, toxic or healthy or what...

This article doesn't talk about ACEs, attachment or discipline. However, I share it here as a great reminder about why addressing ACEs needs to be a multi-generational process. Lots of us, as parents, tend to default to what we were raised with if we don't know other ways. And if our parents haven't learned new things, they do the same. Since so many grand parents help with childcare a little bit of the time or a lot, this is important. What might happen if our families and extended family...

Today would have been my Mom’s 76th birthday. Mom died eight months ago after a 50+ year battle with the grave disease of addiction and, in her later years, significant mental health issues. Here's what my mom's addiction taught me about shame, resilience, and grace: https://traumainformedlancaster.wordpress.com/2017/05/07/what-my-moms-addiction-taught-me-about-shame-resilience-and-grace/

In 2001, a nonprofit drug treatment provider called Bridges joined a bold new venture with the Sacramento County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS). It was aimed at better serving the children of parents who had come into contact with the child welfare system because of drug use or addiction. The resulting Specialized Treatment and Recovery Services (STARS) program would sit at the center of the county’s family drug court, developed to help address Sacramento’s dismal...

Ever struggle to get the conversation going with teens? Wondering how to introduce mindful awareness and self-compassion to adolescents? Self-Compassion and Mindful Awareness for Teens - is a card deck based on Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness. It's a handy-dandy set of quick reminders of some of the activities in the book. Topics covered include: Self-compassion compassion ADHD LGBT+ Body Image Anxiety Depression Check it out and let me know...

This is 19-year-old Emily Palmer from Wiltshire, southwest England, who is currently doing an apprenticeship in business administration. She's the author of a book on mental health for small children called Scrambled Heads. "I decided to write the book after my own experiences with mental health," Palmer told BuzzFeed News. "Having battled with anxiety and anorexia nervosa, I wanted to use my own experiences to encourage conversations on such an important topic." [For more of this story,...

Traumatic experiences happen-but when they happen to children, it can affect their view of the world, their sense of safety, their development, and even their longer-term physical and mental health. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), more than two-thirds of children reported at least one traumatic experience by age 16. While not every child will be traumatized from a difficult experience, some potentially traumatic events could include abuse,...

The Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, has caused a furor. In the show, a high school student who has died by suicide has left 13 tapes, one for each person she believes have contributed in some way to her eventual decision. Each episode relates to an individual tape. The penultimate episode depicts the suicide in a gruesome manner. Some say the series is an accurate and sensitive portrayal of the inner angst of an individual that will help enlighten us as to the motivations behind suicidal...