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Beautiful and honest essay by Heidi Aylward , the same one featured in this story, except this time - the entire essay is in her own words. There are times when I don’t think I can feel joy. There are times that I feel things I don’t want to or know how to deal with. There are moments when I am so crippled by a bad feeling, that it sweeps my emotional legs from beneath me, and I’m simply stuck in it. Emotionally. Sad, or mad, or hurt and stuck there. There are days that begin badly and ones...

Day to day ups and downs are a normal part of adolescence, making it difficult to distinguish between normal teenage moodiness and depression. Teens might not always be able to articulate what they’re going through, and they might not want to talk about it to you, but starting the conversation will help to protect their mental well-being. One of the best things you can do for your teen in your life is to let them him or her know that you’re available to talk on their terms . Here are some...

My daughter didn't sleep well one night this week. She was looking forward to seeing friends back at school. But there are so many new kids in her grade and she's heard there's lots more home work this year. One the way to school she said she was "exstressed" (excited plus stressed). Back to school time can be a busy and expensive time for many of us. Our kids may be sleeping less, struggling with homework demands and social pressures while trying to keep up with jobs, responsibilities or...

A brilliant idea by Kyle Schwartz , a grade school teacher, was used in class. She started a sentence students could finish. It was "I wish my teacher knew...." It became a Twitter campaign #iwishmyteacherknew and a book by the same name. I'm so glad. The experiences of children, in their own words, are being shared and it's powerful. Here's a snippet below from the New York Times article . The teacher's quote is important as is what the child wrote. As a writer and a mother and an advocate,...

Interview with Toni Miner, Family Support Partner When the child welfare system first came into Toni Miner’s life, she felt shamed and blamed and not supported. For many years, Miner hid her problems—and that led child welfare to come back into her life. Today, as a family support partner in Jefferson County, Colorado, and a member of the Birth Parent National Network, Miner believes it’s still too hard for parents to be open about their struggles, but she also sees that families do better...

We're learning so much all of the time and it's exciting to hear about how trauma informed some schools are becoming. My dream is that all parents can become trauma-informed as well, for the sake of our children and for making changes for future generations but also for our healing and recovery as well. It's all related. Most of this article is geared towards school systems but it's relevant to anyone who loves and cares about children. It was first published last summer. It's still...

The first bullet under Early Diagnosis and Intervention of today’s release of Hillary Clinton’s mental health agenda is titled “ Increase public awareness and take action to address maternal depression, infant mental health, and trauma and stress in the lives of young children.” It states “We also know that infant mental health depends on children forming close and secure relationships with the adults in their lives, and that too many children are growing up in environments that cause them...

Your happy-go-lucky child has turned into an anxiety-ridden teen . It is a painful thing to watch. Activities that were once enjoyable are now avoided. Going to school is a daily miracle. Instead of driving to the mall, you are driving to the doctor with mysterious stomach issues. So how do you make this nightmare go away? How do parents help with teen anxiety? You can start off learning what not to do – and then go from there. Teen anxiety can look very similar among teens, but how parents...

I would have posted this fabulous New York Times article by David Bornstein even if our own Jane Stevens wasn't quoted in it... but she is. Her wonderful words and ideas are central in this story and so much of the ACEs work many of us are doing. She's a part of what has brought us all here and why we stay. AND also, there's this wonderful quote and image, which are so much what this Parenting with ACEs group is all about. Isn't that great? Check out and share the entire series if you can.

Beautiful writing from Arwen Faulkner . For survivors of adversity, there's no way to trigger proof life. Fall doesn't come with a warning. Trauma and adversity change the way we experience ourselves and the world, maybe how we sleep or don't sleep and how we function or struggle to function. While parenting or working or breathing. Certain days or entire seasons. Some mornings. Some nights. Every night at certain times. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. On the wrong side of myself. I...

Has anyone else heard of the Therapeutic Parenting Journal put out by the Attachment Trauma Network (ATN)? There are three issues a year and they come as part of the $50. annual membership fee. I've not joined before but am going to because I love virtually everything they post on Facebook. It's a great group if you are parenting kids with ACEs and/or if you are looking to understand how ACEs impact children. Or both. If you work with kids who have had lots of ACEs I have to think the...

Parenting with ACEs & Parenting After Trauma: If you write or read any essays or articles about parenting with ACEs, please share them. I'll make sure to do the same. Resources are welcome as well. The only abuser left in your life,” a yoga therapist said to me once, “is you.” When I talked about what a lazy, gruesome idiot I was another therapist would say, “Your self hears you.” She would look at me and wince at the way I was slicing and dicing myself on my own dime. I didn’t even...